BONKERS!: The NEW Adventures "Morph's the Pity" Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY, DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY. (And I stay true to the characters!) DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS NOTICE REMAINS INTACT NOTE: This story starts a week after the last, "Plan Whine from Outer Space", and it marks the next annoying step in a continuity similar to that of Doctor Who: The New Adventures. This story relates directly to the TV episodes "The Stork Exchange" and "Witless for the Prosecution", and will expand on premises introduced in the other stories I wrote. TEASER FADE IN to sounds of HEAVY TRAFFIC. EST. EXT. LIMOUSINE, driving through the crowded streets of NEW YORK CITY. SLOWLY PUSH IN on the rear window of the limo. PUSH PAST it to reveal LILITH DUPRAVE on a cellular phone. DUPRAVE Now, Mr. Blackenbloo. CUT TO EXT. 34th Precinct, then PUSH IN on second floor, into CAPTAIN SKEWER's OFFICE. MIRANDA, BONKERS, and SGT. GRATING are seated around the circular table opposite of SKEWER, whose monotone never slips during this scene. He yells in monotone by raising volume, not pitch. SFX: Helicopter sounds are heard coming from the distance. They continue to get closer and louder as scene goes on. We can see a black chopper coming into view in the window in the background. SKEWER Let me get this straight... Your squadcar was totaled because A TOON ELEPHANT *SAT* ON IT?! BONKERS They're heavy, y'know! Not our fault that while playing undercover magicians, we happened to pull a giant peanut out of my hat that it REALLY, REALLY wanted! SKEWER But why did you let it sit on the CAR?! MIRANDA We couldn't really prevent it, sir. SKEWER This place is a madhouse! The only precinct in the LAPD where a damage report can read "Sat on by toon Elephant" or "Crushed by Dizzy Giant Lizard from Dimension X" with no one even batting an eyebrow! GRATING Well, SIR... if you don't like it here, you can always ask for a *transfer*... SKEWER's MIRRORED Shades slip for a moment- his cool gone momentarily. SKEWER Don't you think I've tried!? I've tried! Kanifky *wants* me here! He wants me to suffer! I'm going insane! I'm developing an ulcer! I'd like nothing MORE than to LEA- SKEWER AUGHHHHH! SKEWER regains his composure. SKEWER Frank, Bonkers, either someone has just kidnapped Officer Wright, or I'm hallucinating wildly, in which case- (he grins) I'll get a Section Eight. But if not, you two have to find and stop them NOW. GRATING and BONKERS run out the office door. CUT TO EXT. ROOF. There is a POLICE HELICOPTER on the helipad. BONKERS leaps into the pilot's seat, and GRATING sits next to him. GRATING Where's that pilot? GRATING does a TAKE as BONKERS is playing with the controls. GRATING BOBCAT! Stop playing with those controls! BONKERS Pilot to tower- Pilot to tower, ready for takeoff! (airplane noises). BONKERS is playing with the yoke. GRATING reaches over to stop him, but the bobcat is having too much fun. He starts to randomly push buttons and pulls back on the stick. BONKERS We'll stop those evil alien scum! I'll outfly them! Top Gun! Ace Bobcat to the Res-CU-U-UEEEEEE! BONKERS has started the HELICOPTER! GRATING manages to jump out as the machine goes into the air and NOSEDIVES into the ROOF! QUICK CUT to INT. 3rd FLOOR of the STATION. Show the NOSE of the HELICOPTER CRASHING in the middle of the main room! RETURN TO EXT. ROOF. BONKERS has climbed up out of the wreckage. GRATING is watching the BLACK CHOPPER recede into a speck. He turns angrily to BONKERS. GRATING You just wrecked the chopper! And any chance we had of getting Miranda back! FADE OUT. CUT TO OPENING THEME. ACT ONE FROM BLACK, EST. INT of a Posh Manhattan townhouse as a HAND removes a BLINDFOLD from the camera's POV. Lilith DuPrave is walking away, back to the camera. She turns and faces it, motioning at the NYC Skyline out the window. DUPRAVE Welcome, Officer Wright. Thanks to you and your annoying partner, I've had to change locations. But it's all for the best. SWITCH ANGLES to show MIRANDA gagged and tied to a chair as DUPRAVE walks over to her again. DUPRAVE I was the most powerful woman in Hollywood. You changed all that. CUT TO SCENE from "Witless for the Prosecution"... INT. DINGY ROOM with a PRINTING PRESS spitting out dollar bills. MIRANDA is behind DUPRAVE, gun drawn. MIRANDA Printing a little money? DUPRAVE Let's call it a hobby. RETURN to prior setting. DUPRAVE You ruined my empire, closed down my wonderful newspaper, and cast me in a prison for three months. Luckily, I still had many friends on the parole board. I got out, and tried to pick up the pieces. And then YOU showed up again. CUT TO SCENE FROM "THE STORK EXCHANGE": EST EXT. ROOF. DUPRAVE and BLACKENBLOO are getting into a CHOPPER. MIRANDA has her gun on them. MIRANDA Show's over, Duprave! DUPRAVE I'm thinking of an Encore! CUT BACK TO PRIOR SCENE DUPRAVE But this time, my dear, the roles are reversing. I came for you. And soon, your partner will come to me. And then, I'll even the score. Permanently. PUSH IN on DUPRAVE's FACE as it darkens evilly. CUT TO INT. 34th PRECINCT, GRATING's DESK. BONKERS is watching as GRATING is typing in his computer. A Beep is heard. GRATING Whaddya know, Bobcat? You were actually right about something. That was the same kind of chopper that Lilith DuPrave used to use. BONKERS grins, but that falls with the next line. GRATING Too bad she's still in jail. That illegal weapons charge got her 25 years, not to mention the toon-napping charges. SKEWER is walking by and continues to as he moves towards and eventually off the edge of the screen. SKEWER Lilith DuPrave, paroled two days ago by a parole board full of highly suspect but legally unimpeachable members. GRATING (to Bonkers) How does he *know* all that stuff!? SKEWER (from OS) I make it my business to stay informed. GRATING Ok, we've got motive, we've got method, and we've got opportunity... sort of. But we can't get a warrant without some kind of hard evidence. BONKERS What if we just... kinda... hung around her until we see what she's up to? GRATING Bobcat, that's illegal. Unless we were just- SKEWER is walking back across the room. SKEWER Grating, Bobcat, you two are on vacation. GRATING How--? nevermind! Thank you, sir! SKEWER (with relish) Just remember-- when anything goes wrong, it's YOUR heads, not mine... SKEWER goes OS. BONKERS Gee, Sarge... it's almost as if he WANTS us to get in trouble. GRATING Gee, you're quick. Come on already, we've got to find out where DuPrave is and get there. CUT TO INT. LOBBY. BONKERS and GRATING are in civilian clothes with LUGGAGE. They are waiting for a taxi. STARK runs up to GRATING. STARK Sarge, we've got news on that toon Vigilante! It looks like it's definitely a toon duck of some kind! Someone got a quick look at his feet, and they said he made a comment about having been fired recently! GRATING That fits with what that toon rabbit told me last week... this toon layoff thing is causing more trouble than its worth- anyway, take it to Skewer. We've got to jet to New York. STARK Strange time to take a vacation, sir-- I mean with Miranda missing and all. STARK sees BONKERS, who has blinded himself with a flashbulb. STARK And with BONKERS!? I mean, you know how he gets on planes, sir. That last emergency landing at LAX really- GRATING We need a *break*, K.O. A *big* Break. BONKERS Yeah! A Break in the case! GRATING SLAMS BONKERS on the head! GRATING He's had too much sugar. STARK No need to tell me, sir. Well, hope your *break* works out. STARK walks OS. GRATING is upset with BONKERS. GRATING What next, BOBCAT? What MORE could you possibly DO to impede this investi- err.. vacation? CUT TO EXT. LA GUARDIA AIRPORT, NY.- NIGHT A PLANE is RAPIDLY landing. The side door opens, an emergency slide drops out, and PASSENGERS are rushing down to the ground, SCREAMING! PULL BACK to show the whole plane, which sits calmly and then EXPLODES in a FIREBALL!. BONKERS stands alone in the wreckage, charred. GRATING runs up to him, angrily, opening his mouth , ready to demand explanation. BONKERS Trust me. You don't want to know. GRATING closes his mouth and shakes his head. GRATING Come on, we've to to stop in at the NYPD's 42nd Precinct. Some old buddies of mine might have some info for us on Lilith DuPrave's whereabouts. CUT TO EXT. NYPD 42nd Precinct. It is an old building, built around 1910, with all the trimmings that go with that period, but it has become dirt encrusted and heavily weathered with time. GRATING and BONKERS enter. CUT INT. STATION. The architecture is wonderfully old, and the heavy wooden desks are a sharp contrast to the ultramodern computers on them. GRATING walks up to an officer, and they talk while BONKERS wanders into a room marked "Interrogation". CUT. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM- a BEAGLE BOY is sitting under the hot lights, and a human LIEUTENANT is trying his best to get some answers, but to no avail. BONKERS hops on the interrogation table. LIEUTENANT Hey! You're not authorized to be in here! BONKERS turns to face the cop and produces his badge, which glints under the bright lamp overhead. BONKERS Bonkers D. Bobcat, Hollywood PD! As a specialist in toon thinking, or lack thereof, I will get the answers you seek from this masked miscrient! LIEUTENANT Ya, sure, whatever. I need a coffeebreak anyway. The LIEUTENANT walks out. BONKERS walks over to the Beagle Boy, who promptly puts his fist around Bonkers' throat. BONKERS If you don't tell me what I want to know RIGHT NOW, this is going to get violent! BONKERS is flung across the room! He SMACKS onto the wall and slides to the floor. BONKERS uhh...see... id got verrry... fiolent. BONKERS regains his composure and re-approaches the Beagle. BONKERS What's your name, anyway? Getting no response, BONKERS leans in. He produces a mug of coffee from his shirt. BONKERS Until you tell me what that cop wants to know, I'm just going to sit here, sipping coffee! The LIEUTENANT walks in. LIEUTENANT Any luck, toon? BONKERS is startled! He DROPS the cup of coffee on the BEAGLE BOY! There are SPARKS coming from the BEAGLE BOY! It slumps forward, and a hatch springs open in its back! LIEUTENANT What the-- ? BONKERS looks in the hatch and pulls out a red battery with a sliver lightning bolt on it. BONKERS (sotto) Megavolt brand batteries? Why would Megavolt be making fake Beagle Boys? In New York? SGT. GRATING walks in, ignoring the mess. GRATING Come on, Bobcat. Sources say DuPrave is trying to start over in New York. She's got a townhouse apartment somewhere in downtown, on Park Avenue, probably. Let's go check it out. BONKERS Park Avenue? Someone really important to me lives there! At least I think he does. He went insane. GRATING What happened to him? BONKERS Not really sure. Maybe he's still around there. I'll haveta check. He was like a father to me. GRATING No wonder he went insane. Let's check out this lead. PAN UP, where a BLACK HELICOPTER is noislessly hovering. PUSH IN to reveal MR. BLACKENBLOO on a Cellular phone. BLACKENBLOO Dey are on de vay. Shall I mash dem into tiny little bits? CUT TO INT. DUPRAVE's TOWNHOUSE. BLACKENBLOO is being heard over a speakerphone. DUPRAVE Not yet. And what do you mean, they? BLACKENBLOO Dat toon, he has a new pahtnuh...a small man, really annoying to vatch. DUPRAVE Ahh, yes... that would be the ever vigilant Sergeant Grating. He was at our trial, Mr. Blackenbloo... remember? (darkly) Take care of him. But leave the Bobcat for me. FADE OUT ON A TIGHT SHOT OF DUPRAVE's FACE. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO FADE IN, INT. DUPRAVE's TOWNHOUSE. MIRANDA is visibly upset. PAN around her starting from the front, PUSHING in on the back of her chair, where she has just loosened the ropes that are binding her hands. PULL BACK RAPIDLY as DUPRAVE pulls Miranda's cuffs from her belt and snaps them around her fists! (the cuffs should be toony-looking.) DUPRAVE Uh-uh-uh.... we wouldn't want you escaping and making more trouble, would we? I see you've been reduced to using the same toon junk your partner carries around. MIRANDA (muffled) mmph's nufm jmmpmh, mupfhhf! DUPRAVE I'm sorry. Is that gag annoying you? MIRANDA nods. DUPRAVE Excellent. Actually, I do have another reason for having you here besides just revenge and the satisfaction of your eventual demise. I also want to gloat as I show you my return to power in the underworld. New York is in a rather unique situation. Thanks to Negaduck and the Syndicate, the West coast Mafia has fled here, to merge with the East Coast Mafia so they can sweep back to regain control. And I can provide them with the weapons to do it. DUPRAVE removes the gag from Miranda's mouth. MIRANDA Why would the Mafia want your weapons? They've got weapons of their own. DUPRAVE Not anymore. Thanks to some help from the Syndicate, I've managed to steal the vast majority of their reserves, which I was supposed to destroy, but- MIRANDA Lemme guess. You're going to resell them to the mob, instead. DUPRAVE Exactly. I get my profit, The Mob and the Syndicate get rid of each other in Hollywood, and all is open to my control. MIRANDA And if either side figures it out, you're going to be in more trouble than you can imagine! DUPRAVE has walked over to her window. DUPRAVE That's *your* situation exactly, Officer Wright. Mr. Blackenbloo will eliminate Grating, and I will take care of that orange menace Bonkers. I think I'm going to get a *loan* from the bank. This townhouse isn't cheap, you know. DUPRAVE exits. MIRANDA waits until she hears the door close behind her, and she begins to squirm. PAN around to her wrists, where the toon handcuffs are deflating like balloons. MIRANDA Glad I didn't get rid of those magic handcuffs from that last case. MIRANDA is about to get free when the cuffs when they magically OVERINFLATE! She is knocked to the ground under the huge cuffs. MIRANDA This is going to take some work. CUT TO EXT. PARK AVENUE- LATE NIGHT GRATING and BONKERS are walking towards DUPRAVE's building when a CAR skids around the corner at high speed, coming right at them! BONKERS does a TAKE! He pushes GRATING out of the way, and is SQUISHED! An ARM reaches out and pulls GRATING into the car, which speeds off! BONKERS pops back to normal and starts running after the car. He spies a HOT DOG CART, which he jumps on, shoving it at high speed. We see the owner of the cart is JITTERS. JITTERS Oh no! Not you! Not HERE! BONKERS HI, JITTERS! How's the weather? JITTERS I'm not even going to wait for the pain this time. JITTERS pulls out a MALLET and knocks himself silly, falling by the side of the road as BONKERS and the cart zoom off. BONKERS Gee, with an attitude like that, he's gonna hate his life after a while! The CAR screeches to a halt. BONKERS and the cart impact in the rear of it. The CAR now speeds up, and Bonkers is hanging on to rear window, through which we see GRATING in the back, knocked out. BONKERS I'll save you, Sarge! Bonkers rifles through his shirt, pulling out prop after prop, and tossing it aside as he names it. BONKERS Rubber Duck... nahhh. Bowling Ball... nahh. Pepper Mill... nahh... Superman Comics #1... nahh... HEY, WAITAMINUTE! BONKERS watches helplessly as the book flies out into the street. BONKERS ANVIL! Perfect! BONKERS climbs onto the roof of the car and drops an Anvil onto the hood. Smoke now bellows from under the hood. MR. BLACKENBLOO is trying to steer the car, but it's skidding badly. BLACKENBLOO jumps out as the car SLAMS into a lamppost! BONKERS gets GRATING to safety, but as he looks up, the lampost comes crashing down on his head. BLUR IN to show DUPRAVE over BONKERS' head. SGT. GRATING is tied up in the corner of the room, bound and gagged, and he is struggling fiercely to get out of his bounds. BLACKENBLOO picks him up and moves him OS. DUPRAVE Bonkers D. Bobcat. I'd love to stay here and finish you and the Sergeant off. Unfortuantely I have to go meet some rather interesting members of the Mafia who are going to make me very rich. So I'm going to let you go... BONKERS That's awfully decent of you! DUPRAVE ...into Mr. Blackenbloo's little maze of terror! DUPRAVE trips a switch and steps out of the shot. AERIAL of the massive room. Walls begin to rise from the floor, creating a complex maze. SGT. GRATING is now at the center of it, locked off from BONKERS. At the very edges, BEAGLE BOY robots and MAFIA people in trenchcoats are beginning to swarm into the maze. DUPRAVE (voiceover) Blackenbloo's quite the handyman, wouldn't you say, Bobcat? If you can get the Sergeant out of his cage in the center of the maze AND get out again alive, you're free to go. Needless to say, this is quite impossible. Ciao. CUT TO EXT. TOWNHOUSE, where MIRANDA and some NYPD officers are heading towards the door. MIRANDA Ok... you guys tail DuPrave until she meets with the Mob Bosses, then bust 'em. I'll go in after Bonkers and Sergeant Grating. The group breaks up. MIRANDA goes up the stairs and finds herself at a door. Upon opening it, she enters the maze, finding BONKERS! The door closes behind her and it cannot be re-opened. MIRANDA Bonkers! Are you all right? BONKERS Miranda! Can't talk now! Have to save the Sarge and then come save you! MIRANDA Bonkers... I'm right here. BONKERS is now looking around the corner and shaking. BONKERS (weakly) And so are they! MIRANDA takes a look around the corner. Several HITMEN and BEAGLE BOY droids are moving towards her. MIRANDA Let's get out of here! BONKERS Can't! The SARGE is stuck in the center of the maze! MIRANDA draws her gun, but a LASER beam from the top of the maze zaps it! She looks at the melted gun and at the advancing robots. AERIAL SHOT: CLOSE on MIRANDA and BONKERS pressed back against the door. PULL BACK to reveal the maze, and all the bad nasties moving in to surround them. The situation is not good. MIRANDA Got any toon gags to get us out of this one, partner? BONKERS Nope. They're scattered all over Park Avenue. The nasties are moving in closer. BONKERS' POV. The Nasties are aiming all their weapons at him and MIRANDA. DRAMATIC MUSIC UPSWING! FADE OUT END OF ACT TWO ACT THREE FADE IN. BONKERS puffs out his chest and holds up his hand. BONKERS WAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTT! MIRANDA covers her ears. The Nasties do so as well. A Mafia hit man with a BAD Cockney Accent walks up to Bonkers. HITMAN 'Ere! Are You trying to blow me blinkin' ears out!? Wot you want then? BONKERS Don't I get a last phone call? HITMAN No. BONKERS PLEASE! PLEASE?! PLLLLEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEEEE! HITMAN AWWRIGHT ARREADY! 'ERE! Just make it Quick, is all! The HITMAN gives BONKERS a cellular phone. MIRANDA Who're you calling? NYPD? BONKERS Nope. SPLITSCREEN TO INT. PARK AVENUE HOUSE. A MAN in PAJAMAS groggily answers the phone. MAN You know it's 2 AM? BONKERS HELLLLLP! MAN BONKERS?! Haven't heard from you in ages! What's the matter? Need a new wardrobe? Sidekick? BONKERS (rapidly) I'm a cop now and I need the hand... the HAND! There are meanies trying to get me!!!! MAN How about "Bonkers 2099?" BONKERS grins evilly. BONKERS I always wanted to try that! BONKERS hands the phone back to the HITMAN. The MAN quickly whips out a paper and pencil and begins to scribble. END SPLITSCREEN. As the nasties move in, a giant PAINTBRUSH swoops down from nowhere and begins to redraw BONKERS! As it moves away, we see that BONKERS is now colored silvery-metallic, and his eyes have been reduced to a Robocop-like red slit. He has an ANVIL LAUNCHING cannon attached to his left arm, and a STICKY PIE MORTAR extending off of his right shoulder. MIRANDA gasps. MIRANDA Bonkers? What was that? BONKERS (with robotlike inflection) The hand of Bob. MIRANDA Bob? BONKERS My Animator. The NASTIES move in and open fire! BONKERS is shielding Miranda, and the bullets just bounce away. BONKERS grins and moves forward ponderously. He uses the ANVIL LAUNCHING CANNON to take down the BEAGLE BOY ROBOTS, and the STICKY PIE MORTAR to adhere the hitmen to the walls, immobile. MIRANDA Good work, Bonkers! Now we just have to get Grating from the center of the maze. MR. BLACKENBLOO: So you suhvived my henchmen. But you von't suhvive dis. The Lights in the room go red! A voice can be heard counting down. VOICE One minute to Self-Destruct. MIRANDA Bonkers, this maze is too large! We'll never be able to find Grating in time! VOICE Fifty-Five seconds to Self Destruct. BONKERS Bob?! I could use some HELP HERE! The PAINTBRUSH lowers again and is redrawing Bonkers. MIRANDA Bonkers, why haven't you called on your animator before? BONKERS tries to reply, but has to wait for his mouth to get drawn. BONKERS It's a super-last resort kinda thing. Yer animator's like a guardian angel, but only if he wants to be. And besides, outside of cartoons, it's a cheap shot to use your animator to give you an edge. And since they're human they're not gonna be there forever. They have lives too, y'know. MIRANDA And horrible fashion sense. PULL BACK to REVEAL BONKERS in a CLOWN's OUTFIT. VOICE Forty-five seconds to self-destruct. BONKERS Yeah, but these platform shoes are useful! BONKERS clicks his heels together, and rises above the walls of the maze. LASERS are firing at him! BONKERS quickly detaches his shoes from the stilts that are holding him up, and he runs along the top of the walls, dodging blasts, until he dissappears near the center. VOICE Thirty Seconds to Self Destruct. MIRANDA is checking her watch. She sees a giant paintbrush descending near the center of the maze. BONKERS smashes through the walls carrying GRATING. His bottom half is shaped like a tank. VOICE Twenty Seconds to Self Destruct. MIRANDA, GRATING and BONKERS come out of the building just as plumes of fire burst from the top story windows! In the sky, a BLACK HELICOPTER heads off into the distance. GRATING That guy's probably going to meet DuPrave! MIRANDA Let's get a squad car and head over there! GRATING Problem is, we don't have a warrant for DuPrave's arrest. MIRANDA She's got tons of illegal weapons. NYPD's got a warrant. GRATING GREAT! But... we need a car. MIRANDA I've got an idea. MIRANDA looks up. MIRANDA HEY, BOB! WE NEED A CAR! BOB can be heard yelling back. BOB I'M BUSY HERE! BONKERS It's hard for Animators to do stuff like that in the real world. He'd have to make a base sketch, then ink and color it, then bring it to life. Unless he... (upwards) HEY, BOB! I wanna MORPH! Like the GENIE? BOB BONKERS, It's THREE THIRTY... And I think I'm going crazy again. BONKERS Puh-leeze...! I promise if you do I won't tell anyone about that miscolored Gadget nose fiasco of 1990... remember the comic book? BOB Ok, .. but it's so much easier doing those on paper... you can morph any way you want for 12 hours. GO! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! THE PAINTBRUSH SMACKS BONKERS HARD and LEAVES. MIRANDA How can he do that... the giant brush... in the real world? BONKERS It's a trade secret. PULL BACK to show BONKERS with a hand behind his back and legs slightly apart. BONKERS It's MORPHIN' time! GRATING Wright, can we shoot him? PUSH IN FAST on BONKERS' FACE, which is surrounded by cheap orange lightning effects. BONKERS BOBCAT! BONKERS jumps up in the air and (accompanied by old Transformers Transforming FX) folds and extends into an orange, spotted Police car. MIRANDA and GRATING get in trepidatiously. The "car" roars off, sprouts wings, and goes up after the HELICOPTER. CUT TO INT. HELICOPTER BLACKENBLOO Vat is das? BLACKENBLOO squints at the rearview. BLACKENBLOO No- It cahn't be. The Bobcat lives! WIDE SHOT as the BLACK HELICOPTER loops around to face the rapidly approaching BONKERS. The HELICOPTER's missile ports come out. BLACKENBLOO Eat missiles, puny Bobcat. The BONKERS-PLANE does heavy evasive manuevers and the missiles... miss. GRATING How'd you learn to fly like that, Bonkers? BONKERS Simple. Used my cat-like reflexes. BONKERS pulls up alongside the helicopter! He EJECTS MIRANDA and GRATING, who have TOON PARACHUTES on! BONKERS Uh-Oh. Those parachutes only open on impact! BONKERS morphs into an orange SUPERMAN, and swoops down, safely catching MIRANDA and GRATING, depositing them on the ground where the NYPD is getting ready to charge in on LILITH DUPRAVE. He then flies back up to the HELICOPTER, MORPHING into a TERMINATOR clone. BONKERS Hair me now, See me latuh. BLACKENBLOO Puny Bobcat. You sound bettuh, but I vill still getch you. BLACKENBLOO rushes at BONKERS after clicking in the AUTO-PILOT. He is wearing a paramilitary style outfit, including a Green Beret, which BONKERS snatches from his head and eats it. BONKERS I eat Green Berets for Breakfast. BLACKENBLOO Da game is ovuh, Bobcat. BONKERS pops back to himself. BONKERS Games? I LOVE games! BONKERS dashes to the controls of the chopper, and starts to play with them like the last time with the POLICE CHOPPER. BONKERS Bonkers D. Bobcat! Ace of Space! King of Swing! Spinner of Tales! BONKERS disengages the AUTOPILOT. The CHOPPER begins to DESCEND RAPIDLY. BONKERS And... really lousy pilot. BLACKENBLOO parachutes down, only to be apprehended. CUT TO GROUND LEVEL. MIRANDA Sarge! DuPrave and the mobsters are getting away in that armored car! GRATING, MIRANDA, and the NYPD chaps take potshots at the armored car, but it keeps going- until- GRATING It's BONKERS! And he's coming in FAST! MIRANDA Everyone, DOWN! The HELICOPTER plows into the armored car, whose tires all blow out, and it SKIDS to a halt, with many sparks all over the road. The NYPD officers open the doors of the van, and many GUNS, RIFLES, and MOBSTERS tumble out. CUT TO LILITH DUPRAVE in an ALLEYWAY, sneaking away from the confusion. DUPRAVE Someday, Officer Wright. Someday I'll- A SHADOW falls across her face. She looks up. MIRANDA You'll what? DUPRAVE You can't keep me locked up forever. I'll be back for you- and that Bobcat. Mark my words! Two NYPD Officers escort DUPRAVE away. BONKERS and GRATING walk up to MIRANDA as we: CUT TO EXT. 34th PRECINCT. PUSH IN ON 2ND Floor, CAPTAIN SKEWER's OFFICE. MIRANDA and GRATING are sitting at SKEWER's ROUND TABLE. BONKERS is ON the table, morphing into annoying kitchen appliances. SKEWER How much longer is he going to keep that up? MIRANDA Well, his animator said twelve hours, I figure we've got three or so left. SKEWER Can't we get this animator to STOP HIM? GRATING Apparently Bob's gone on a sabbatical to some place called Flatland. SKEWER Ugh. You people did good work, I hate to admit. NYPD's got East AND West coast Mafia in Maximum security, and a lot of illegal weapons are off the streets. But... SKEWER looks at MIRANDA. MIRANDA (resignedly) DuPrave. SKEWER She... and Blackenbloo... weren't in the paddywagon when it got to the police station. No one knows where they are- but a search is in progress. GRATING slams his fist into the table. GRATING After all we went through! Getting tied up, gagged, run through death traps and flying in morphing toons--! SKEWER On the bright side, we've used our sources to leak word to both the Syndicate and the Mafia about her little doublecross. I don't think she'll be showing up around here anytime soon. PAN to the OFFICE DOORWAY, where DENNIS is standing, huffing for breath. SKEWER Dennis? DENNIS Remember Speedy, the Friendly Rabbit? That toon who wants to axe all the new dramatic cartoons out there? He's busted out of jail and he's got some other two-tone toons with him! They're being chased by the Vigilante- SKEWER When it rains, it pours. DENNIS -But sir! We've seen the Vigilante in daylight! We know who he is! MIRANDA Who is it? DENNIS The Toontown Vigilante' is- is DARKWING DUCK! IRIS OUT ON A SHOCKED BONKERS THE SEMI-END TO BE CONTINUED NEXT IN... "THE BEST OF BOTH TOONS"