BONKERS! 1999: The Final Season
SEVEN DAYS IN THE VALLEY
"DAY 4: CRUEL WORLD"
Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS
(save of course Captain Eric Skewer, Blinkers E. Badcatt
and those that belong to others like WB et al.)
Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH
FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY,
DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY.
(And I stay true to the characters!)
DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS
NOTICE REMAINS INTACT
NOTE: This story is set in the sixth(?) season of Bonkers! It, and the three
that follow, are closely linked, and mark the arc that will end, at least
for me, Bonkers!. It marks the latest coffee-induced slip-and-fall in a
continuity similar to that of Doctor Who: The New Adventures or Babylon 5.
TEASER
OVERLAY TITLE: KNBC NEWS LIVE!: December 28, 1999, 1:05 PM
DURATION: 3 SECONDS
We are seeing a newscast in fuzzy black-and white. SHIRLEY WRIGHT is
reporting. It looks like there's a HURRICANE behind her.
SHIRLEY WRIGHT
This is Shirley Wright, with an update from
Toontown, where the morning of December 28th, 1999
has seen a new wave of toon crime hit the streets.
Super-powered criminal toons the likes of which no one
has ever seen before are roaming the city, and the
police are powerless to prevent it.
The picture ROLLS and BLANKS OUT for a second.
We apologize for the technical difficulties-- it seems
that MegaMapps has been playing with the KNBC transmitter
tower again. As we reported a half hour ago, Mayor
Kanifky has ordered a state of emergency for the whole
city of L.A.-- unfortunately, the governor has *denied*
our request for National Guard assistance, citing their
need for disaster relief in the brush-fire ravaged
San Fernando Valley.
There is a massive EXPLOSION to the right of the truck! The picture TILTS!
What was that?!
SHIRLEY looks around, confused for a moment.
It's getting to be too dangerous to remain on the
streets. As we said earlier, Toontown is completely
gone, and as of right now we have no word from the
team of Jitters A. Dog, Roderick Lizzard, Monterey
Jack, Gizmoduck, Darkwing Duck, the Genie and their
leader, toon cop Bonkers D. Bobcat. They may be the
only ones who can save us now.
Another EXPLOSION! The picture goes out! We only hear SHIRLEY.
We've lost the camera? Nuts! Everyone, we're moving
off the streets. LAPD South has set up a tactical
headquarters in the Rubber Room nightclub, and we'll
try to cover events from there-- if we can make it!
Yet another EXPLOSION! All we hear is STATIC! The TV clicks off!
ROLL CREDITS
ACT I
FADE IN
LUCKY AND FALLAPART are just walking into the RUBBER ROOM, which is more like
your typical techno-raver style club than any toon club should be. There's
a whole bank of TV's in the rear, and they are almost all tuned to the news
channels. Toons are milling around everywhere, there's bedding on the ground,
and cops working at computer stations at the tables. It's like a hurricane
shelter in there. BULLFINCH is leaning by the juice bar, which, like
everything else in the Rubber Room, is a chrome silver metallic color.
LUCKY waddles over to the bar. He's got a cast on from the waist down.
LUCKY
Hey, Bullfinch! How's it goin?
BULLFINCH
Hey, hey, Secret Agent Man, what's
the word?
LUCKY
The word of the day, I take it, is--
well, Bonkers!
BULLFINCH
Tell me about it, man... say, the
Chief came in here a while ago an'
told us to be expectin ya, said you
weren't savvy on the haps down here
in Toontown?
LUCKY
No kiddin'. I spent Tuesday in an
elephant suit down in the Red Sea,
Wednesday being probed by *aliens*,
and the better parta this mornin'
gettin' interrogated by my superior
officer, who just *happened* to be
a crook! Yeah, so in between all that,
you might say I missed a few beats.
FALLAPART
Comedy Beets?
FALLAPART throws some BEETS at Lucky.
LUCKY
Hah. VERY funny.
BULLFINCH
Well, *there's* the lovely lady
who can give ya the scoop on
what's been goin' down over in
Toontown!
MIRANDA walks over. She looks a little frazzled.
MIRANDA
Hiya, Lucky. Last time I saw you,
you were in a giant elephant suit.
What's with the half-body cast...
and... have you gone on a diet?!
LUCKY
*Don't* ask. Long story, involving
*probes* and little green men.
You look like you've been through
a tornado!
MIRANDA
You don't know the half of it!
It all started this morning, when--
RIPPLE FADE to the 34th PRECINCT, GROUND FLOOR INTERIOR. MIRANDA's NARRATION
can be heard as a Voice-over.
NARRATION
It was around 1:30 AM. I'd just gotten in from LAX,
after getting what must've been *fifty* toon
criminals through customs--
MIRANDA has a whole STREAM of crooks behind her, all together in a CHAIN
GANG. DENNIS, STARK, GRATING, SKEWER and a bunch of other cops are mulling
around them, trying to get them processed.
NARRATION
Things were rough, considering that
Bonkers had abandoned me in Cairo,
giving Negaduck a chance to escape--
but no sooner had we locked all the toon
criminals away--
SHOW DENNIS and STARK walking away from the cell doors, with criminals
all poking out from between the doors.
NARRATION
than Negaduck busts in--
SHOW NEGADUCK coming in through an EXPLOSION in one of the walls!
And frees the prisoners!
END FLASHBACK
LUCKY
What? *All* of them?
MIRANDA
Nope. Just a few *special* ones.
Though I dunno how special they
felt after being "rescued".
She waves over to someone.
Hey, Stark!
STARK comes over to Miranda, on crutches.
STARK
Yeah, Miranda?
Hey, Lucky.
LUCKY
Hey, buddy! Got a busted wheel, huh?
STARK nods.
MIRANDA
You got that footage from the breakout?
The stuff Skewer wanted?
STARK
Yeah.
STARK waves over to DENNIS, who has a broken arm.
STARK
Hey, Dennis! Bring us that breakout footage, K?
DENNIS
Right, K.O.!
STARK turns back to MIRANDA.
Say, you seen the Lieutenant?
MIRANDA
Grating's too stubborn to wait it out
here. You know him-- even with a broken
arm, a busted thumb and a bump on his head
the size of Wichita, there's no place he'd
rather be than fighting crime in the trenches.
LUCKY
Whoawhoawhoa... waitasec here... is that what
this is? Are you guys all *hiding* out, waiting
fer this thing to blow over? That's not like
you!
MIRANDA sits down at a table. She motions for LUCKY and STARK to join her.
DENNIS comes by with a small TV/VCR combo and joins them. FALLAPART comes
too.
DENNIS
Here ya go, guys, fresh from what's left of the third
floor computer lab.
MIRANDA and STARK shake their heads. LUCKY and FALLAPART look at each other
curiously.
PUSH IN ON THE TV. We are watching Hi-Res B/W footage. NEGADUCK has just
released QUACKERJACK, MEGAVOLT and LIQUDATOR.
MEGAVOLT
Hey, where's plant-boy?
NEGADUCK
He's *fertilizer*, boys.
QUACKERJACK
What?
NEGADUCK
I *told* you I was gonna take
him out! I didn't see any of you
jumping up to save him when Shere
Khan went 'off with his head'!
LIQUIDATOR
But Bushy was a plant-man! Heads or
Tails, nothing's really needy for
a plant that's seedy! But how, oh
how, could you have just rub-ub-ubbed
him out?
NEGADUCK
I never trusted that sychophantic
seedling much anyway. He always hated
the fact that when I improved you guys--
by giving Liquidator the ability to
perfectly morph and resist electricity,
by making Megavolt stronger, faster to
recharge and not mention waterproof,and
by making Quackerjack here-- er...
QUACKERJACK looks dejected.
NEGADUCK
Well, okay, so Quackie got left out too,
so what? I woulda gotten around to it
eventually--
QUACKERJACK
It's been *six* years!
NEGADUCK
--eventually's a long time, crazyface!
Bushroot always hated the fact he'd never
been improved. So he started *plottin'*
against me. Then he jumped ship to Shere
Khan. He got what he deserved!
LIQUIDATOR
But he was with us from the Season Premiere!
MEGAVOLT
Before the Syndicate!
Back when we were the "Fearsome Five"!
QUACKERJACK
Now (sniff), we're the "Fearsome Four".
QUACKERJACK holds up MR. BANANNA BRAIN
MR BANANNA BRAIN
Hey... at least the initials still work!
QUACKERJACK
Yeah, but now it sounds like a cheap comic
book ripoff!
NEGADUCK is fuming.
NEGADUCK
*None* of you appreciate what I've done for
you these last few years! We coulda been out
there *on the street* with the rest of Toony
toondom when Wackytoons started going--
He spits.
--dramatic--, but NOOOO... When the Darkwing Duck
show got canceled I took us outta the movie biz
and inta CRIME! We drove out the West Coast Mafia,
the East Coast Mafia, Al Vermin and Flaps--
AL VERMIN and FLAPS chime in from their cells "But we came back!"
NEGADUCK
Doesn't matter! We were the *Syndicate*! We told
people how much to buy, when to buy it, and how
much to pay! We were the *best*! And now, after
all that-- you're gonna question *me*?! HUH!?
QUACKERJACK, LIQUIDATOR, MR. BANANNA BRAIN and MEGAVOLT huddle.
QUACKERJACK
We're sorry, Negaduck. But you've gone too far
this time. We've had it with you, your obsession
with Wackytoons Studio, and your criminal ways!
We're gonna serve our time and go back to actin--
NEGADUCK
*WRONG ANSWER*, CLOWN!
QUACKERJACK holds up Mr. BANANNA BRAIN in defence!
MR. BANANNA BRAIN
Or you could make me a full-fledged member of the
group like Bushroot was! Then we could be the
Fearsome Five ag--
NEGADUCK YANKS MR. BANANNA BRAIN off QUACKERJACK's HAND! He TOSSES HIM onto
the ground. Pulling out the PEN, NEGADUCK TOWERS over his minions!
NEGADUCK
I think it's time you boys had a little
*change of face*.
NEGADUCK goes over to the cells holding FAT CAT and his gang of MAPPS, WART
and SNOUT.
NEGADUCK
Hey, you! Flabby feline felon!
check out my perfectly *poisonous* Pen!
FAT CAT
Wha-ha-- What're you doing?
NEGADUCK draws a WHITE LILY and THRUSTS it in FAT CAT's HAND! FAT CAT DROPS
out of shot! We see a translucent FAT CAT in ANGEL WINGS float up and out
of shot, playing a HARP! NEGADUCK looks at the others.
NEGADUCK
He *got it* easy. He's the last one who's
gonna get it easy.
You three... yeah, you three'll serve
me a lot better *this way*!
PUSH IN on the MR. BANANNA BRAIN PUPPET lying on the floor in a puddle of
water (probably from LIQUDATOR). Reflect in the water BRIGHT ARCS of
electricity, and DRAMATIC, EVIL ORGAN MUSIC!
NEGADUCK
MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! THEY LIVE!
NEGADUCK looks directly into the CAMERA.
BEHOLD! The fusion of Fat Cat's
former flunkies and the remnants
of the Fearsome... heh... Four!
MEGA-MAPPS, LIQUI-WART, and
QUACKER-SNOUT!
(Basically MAPPS with his fur all up, glowing eyes and electricity coming
form his claws; WART with arms made out of water, and SNOUT with a screwed
up look in his eyes)
TWICE as powerful as any toon, and only
HALF as intelligent! The *perfect* minions
for my malevolent masterplan of mass mayhem!
The SHOT changes to show GRATING, DENNIS, and STARK coming up outside the
cell block area. GRATING has a bandage on his head.
NEGADUCK
Here's a little something to keep you boys
occupied while we make our excellent escape...
The LIGHTS dim! The LAMPS on the ceiling shake, and the picture goes fuzzy!
Bits of the ceiling fall down! GRATING, DENNIS and STARK are lost in a cloud
of dust!
CUT BACK TO our crew at the table in the RUBBER ROOM.
STARK
This next bit is taken from KCBS News.
SHOW an EXT. SHOT of the 34th PRECINCT - NIGHT. The THIRD FLOOR EXPLODES
outwards! GLASS all up and down the arched front of the building SHATTERS,
raining down on the street! The roof of the building sinks in at an angle!
COPS are fleeing the building! NEGADUCK's version of the THUNDERQUACK blasts
away from the scene!
FADE OUT
END OF ACT I
ACT II
FADE IN
LUCKY
Man, oh, man has he ramped things up a notch.
In the old days, nobody could get *near* the
building, much less pull *that* off!
MIRANDA
We don't have enough cops to even protect
our *own* precinct, let alone Hollywood!
STARK
We're not hidin', Lucky-- we're regroupin'!
Ever since Negaduck got himself that dang
Pen, he's been crusin' around town, pickin'
up toons an' redrawin' them into criminals
whether they want to be or not!
DENNIS
And the sick thing is, with all the out of
work toons lately, more of them wanna be
bad just so they can "earn" a living!
Half the LAPD's down here tryin' to figure
out what to do next.
LUCKY
Well, I don't see Bonkers in this half--
when is somebody gonna tell me what happened
to him?
BULLFINCH, who was walking by, stops.
BULLFINCH
I'll tell ya. It started around 3 AM this mornin'.
Bonkers had just come in, dressed in his green
threads, ya know? He looked totally bummed out.
So, I offered him a Fizzy, on da house--
BEGIN FLASHBACK
BASS-BLASTING TECHNO MUSIC is playing. More HUMANS than TOONS are in the
RUBBER ROOM, as most toons can't afford to get up this way anymore. BONKERS
weaves his way through a few dancing people, and sits at the bar. BULLFINCH
offers hima BANANNA FIZZY.
BONKERS
Hiya, Bullfinch.
BONKERS refuses the FIZZY.
BULLFINCH
Hey, cat... whasamatta? You look flatter'n
Road Kill!
BONKERS
It's Fawn... I tried *everything*, but
I can't find a cure for her! I almost
got my arm erased, I went down a volcano,
picked fights with aliens, but nothin'
worked! I get real close, an' then it
slips away!
A FADED, almost TWO-TONE RABBIT in scuzzy clothing, wearing a
sign on his back and front that says "DOOMSDAY NOW", sits next to Bonkers.
RABBIT
Closer now... only three days to the
end of everything we have ever known...
Tick, tock...
BONKERS barely pays attention to him. BULLFINCH shoos him off.
BULLFINCH
No buggin' the customers, ya ol' windbag!
(to BONKERS)
I'm sorry about that, man-- this guy, he
comes in every day an' says the same thing.
If ya ask me, this millennium thing's startin'
to get outta control.
BONKERS
Who cares? It'll be a millennium without Fawn.
BULLFINCH
Hey! Something's comin' on the news! Looks
important!
PUSH IN ON A TELEVISION SCREEN - SHIRLEY WRIGHT is in front of POLICE
HEADQUARTERS with MAYOR KANIFKY. CHIEF SKEWER is beside KANIFKY.
SHIRLEY WRIGHT
Can you tell us anything about the bombing
of the 34th Precinct, Chief Skewer?
SKEWER
In the grand scheme of things, it is a nexus-
a turning point in the affairs of Toon and
Man.
SHIRLEY
I *meant*, about survivors?
SKEWER
Everyone made it out safely. There were a few
broken arms and legs here and there, but all
survived. Currently, my officers are in two
groups, one going to seek Harmony in the Rubber
Room, and the other seeking Disharmony in
Police Headquarters.
SHIRLEY
I'm gonna regret this-- but, can you
elaborate?
SKEWER
Sure. One group is trying to regroup and
figure out what to do about the toons. They
won't move without a plan. The other group,
led by Lieutenant Francis Q. Grating, is
haphazardly fighting the toons in the streets
with no plan, just a place to store Ammo.
SHIRLEY is AMAZED.
SHIRLEY
Wow-- that was so-- so--
SKEWER
Concise? Succinct? I could've chosen to get
all metaphysical on you, but we don't have
the time. Know this, however-- the tide of
toon terror will fade on its own.
MAYOR KANIFKY gets in front of the camera, shoving SKEWER and SHIRLEY aside.
KANIFKY
Erm, I've got an important announcement type
thing to announce... ahem. Due to the erm, ah,
ahm, bombing of the 34th Precinct, and raids
on several other divisions, the LAPD is, uhm,
yes, ahh-- critically understaffed and unable
to stem the rising tidd, OH! Tide, yes, tide, of
Toon *violence*. Thus, as Mayor of Los Angeles,
I, Leonard Kanifky, do hereby pledge allegiance,
no, no, that's not it-- ahh! Yes, do hereby
authorize the deputization of any and all toons
willing to help defend Hollywood against the
evil villany of, erm, ahm, yes-- Negaduck!
The TV is shut off. BULLFINCH looks at BONKERS.
BULLFINCH
Bud, I think that's your cue. I mean, you are
still da thin blue line, ain'tchya?
BONKERS
I dunno. I just can't get the job done anymore.
BULLFINCH
Look, Bonk-o, it ain't my place to prescribe
a plan for da Man, but hey!, you're just a little
too down in the dumpster, man. You need to see Fawn
again...
BONKERS
Why? She's why I'm *in* this funk! I can't go
back ta her without a cure!
BULLFINCH
When was the last time you saw her, man?
BONKERS
Before I went ta the Dead Sea. I still don't
know why they call it (sniff) Dead.
BULLFINCH
Go see the little lady.
BONKERS
She's only got about twenty hours left!
BULLFINCH
All the more reason to *get movin'*!
BONKERS leaves seconds before MIRANDA, DENNIS, STARK and many other COPS
start pouring into the RUBBER ROOM.
END FLASHBACK
LUCKY
Man, he sounds even worse than when I
saw him last time! And *that* was pretty
low.
BULLFINCH
Things changed when he went to see Fawn,
though.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
BONKERS is walking in Von Drake's Lab.
BONKERS
Professor Von Drake? Oh, where is he?!
FAWN's voice can be heard faintly.
FAWN DEER
Bonkers...
BONKERS goes over to FAWN'S bed. She's translucent.
BONKERS
(squeaky)
Fawn...
FAWN DEER
Von Drake woke me up... but he
said it won't last. He's out
looking for a cure. He said you
went all over the world trying
to find one for me...
BONKERS
Yeah, but I blew it. Again, and
again, and again... face it, I
*am* a washed up, geriatric ol'
toon who should give up an'
retire...
FAWN
Bonkers, are you *sad*?
BONKERS
Whadda you think? I've been all
serious lately! More serious in
one week than I've been in my
entire *life*! All I want is the
cure!
FAWN DEER
Did you ever think you'd fail?
BONKERS
All the time after I lost the Eraser!
FAWN coughs. BONKERS starts.
FAWN
Don't you see? You're going
about it the wrong way! You're
letting yourself get too... well,
*dramatic*!
BONKERS perks up.
BONKERS
What?
FAWN
You're a comedy toon! You're
only at your best when you're
having fun!
BONKERS
How can I have *fun* when
you're fadin' away?
FAWN DEER
You're the good guy, right?
BONKERS
Yeahhhh...
FAWN DEER
And in cartoons, who *always* wins?
BONKERS
The GOOD GUY!
FAWN DEER
Exactly! The minute you forgot that,
you got depressed, and had no chance
at winning! You can't be obsessed
forever-- it's not the way you were
drawn!
BONKERS is perking up.
BONKERS
You're *right*, FAWN!
FAWN DEER
Now, go out there, be my hero, and
bring me back the *cure*!
BONKERS salutes!
BONKERS
(John Wayne voice)
Whatever you say, ma'am!
BONKERS *BLASTS* out of Von Drake's lab! FAWN smiles, but passes out right
after Bonkers vanishes. That talk took a *lot* of energy she didn't have
to spare. She's beginning to fade in and out...
CUT TO THE RUBBER ROOM
(Martial music)
The place is filled with toons all fleeing crime, as well as some COPS.
The front door BLASTS open! BONKERS walks in, confident as ever!
Grabbing a BADGE from a passing cop, a JACKET from another and a hat from
a third, BONKERS suits up and takes center stage! The JACKET is too big,
so he has to roll up the sleeves! The HAT slumps down on his head! He looks
SUPER TOUGH!
BONKERS
Spotlight, please!
A SPOTLIGHT shines down on BONKERS.
BONKERS
Okay, listen up! The city's *teems* with
violence. The criminal element is
*everywhere*...
Someone runs in, yelling "Negaduck's invaded Toontown!"
...and *that's* the source of all the
trouble! Negaduck's been a wart on the
face of the Public for six years, and
I think it's time we put him outta
business-- permanently! Who's with me?
Everybody vanishes. The sound of a lone chirping cricket can be heard.
BONKERS
Fine! If I hafta do it myself, I will!
'Cuz I'm a *good guy*.
FADE OUT
END OF ACT II
ACT III
FADE IN
We're still in the RUBBER ROOM. BONKERS is on stage. All is silent.
MONTEREY JACK comes up on stage.
MONTEREY JACK
So am I, mate, an' I say we give the Ruddy
No-Gooders wot for!
Some toons return to the center of the room. GENIE flys on stage.
THE GENIE
What he said! Yeah! Slap me five, Monty-Man!
MONTEREY JACK gives the GENIE a High-Five. MORE toons return.
GIZMODUCK
Gizzzzmoduck has returned, and is ready to
protect and serve!
GIZMODUCK lifts up his visor.
I just had to say the magic words!
There is a PUFF of PURPLE SMOKE. DARKWING DUCK shows up. GIZMODUCK backs
off. The crowd goes dead silent.
DW shakes his head. GIZMODUCK starts to move back further, afraid.
GIZMODUCK
Well, ahh... I, uhh, I can alw-w-w-ways go
back to doin' children's birthday parties!
DW shakes his head again and sticks out his hand for a handshake.
GIZMODUCK rolls up and SHAKES HANDS with DW! The toons go wild!
BONKERS
Awesome possum!
DRAMATIC, WESTERN SHOWDOWN STING
As my good buddy Darkwing would say,
(If he was still talkin' which he ain't)
"Let's get *dangerous*"!
DARKWING NODS and gives a THUMBS UP!
BONKERS, DARKWING, GIZMODUCK, GENIE, and MONTEREY JACK leave the RUBBER ROOM
carried out by their peers!
CUT BACK TO PRESENT TIME
LUCKY
Waitasec here... how did Jitters and
Roderick Lizzard get involved in all
this?
MIRANDA
Not by choice, I'll tell you that much.
FLASHBACK
CUT TO THE EDGE of TOONTOWN, which is receding like an outgoing tide,
leaving barren, dark land behind.
MONTEREY JACK
Blimey! Wot's goin' on here?
GIZMODUCK
Well, after a sophisticated sensor-sweep
with my Gizmo-scanners, I think we can
all safely agree that Toontown is *shrinking*!
GENIE
Well, anybody with two eyes could see *that*,
bud! Luckily, I've got two-- thousand!
GENIE has a whole ton of eyes for a second.
BONKERS
The question is, why's it shrinkin'?
SNITCH appears from offscreen. His hair's slicked back, and he's wearing
a "professional" garbageman's outfit.
BONKERS
Snitch, ol' buddy! Good ta see ya!
Didja get the stuff?
SNITCH
Yah, Bonkers. Yer supplies oughta
be comin' in real soon. While I'm
here, lemme tell ya some stuff--
I'm gonna sell this info ta the news
media later, but you need to know it
*now*.
BONKERS
What is it?
SNITCH
First-- Toontown's shrinkin' cuz
Ol' Negaduck wants to get rid of it,
makin' a new one in *his* image. He's
suckin' the ink out of it and refillin'
the Pen so he can make more mayhem.
Second-- He doesn't know how to use the Pen
right yet. Those new toons he made? They're
all unstable!
BONKERS
You mean--
SNITCH
Those explosions you heard all day? Those
were his henchmen going up in smoke! His
army of criminals is blowing up right before
his eyes! Unfortunately, they're takin' bits
of Hollywood out with 'em!
BONKERS
But those toons-- when they blow up, they--
SNITCH
I know! That's why you've got to stop him,
and get the Pen back for Fawn! If you don't,
not only will there *be* no Toontown, but no
toons left, period!
BONKERS
RIGHT!
SNITCH walks off just as JITTERS and RODERICK LIZZARD show up.
RODERICK
I hope you know this was *extremely*
short notice, Bonkers. Tuttle had to
work his shell off getting these props
together, and you've set my filming
schedule back aeons!
BONKERS
When *was* your next movie comin' out
again?
RODERICK
Erm, nevermind. I got everything you
asked for. Jitters volunteered to drive
it all over here in his *new* pickup truck.
JITTERS
(to audience)
Can you see it coming?
An assortment of TOON props is laid out before our heroes. PIES, ANVILS,
HOLES, PAINT CANS and BRUSHES, BANANNA PEELS and MALLETS are just a few
of the items available.
BONKERS
Everybody take as much as you can! We're
goin' in! The rest'll go in by truck!
GENIE
Waitasec, Bonkman! Look!
GENIE morphs into a giant telescope. BONKERS looks into it, and we see
NEGADUCK jabbing the Pen into the ground, SUCKING everything around it
inside!
BONKERS
That thing's like a giant vaccuum cleaner!
GIZMODUCK
No matter, Gizmobuddy! Negaduck can't suck
what isn't on the ground!
HELICOPTER flaps come out of his helmet!
I'll *carry* us all into the Heart of Darkness!
MONTEREY JACK
I don't think that'll be necessary, mates!
Look!
The THUNDERQUACK roars overhead and hovers to a stop! The cockpit opens,
and a ROPE drops down! BONKERS and MONTEREY JACK climb up it. GENIE floats
ahead as the THUNDERQUACK begins to move over Toontown. GIZMODUCK turns to
JITTERS and RODERICK. He puts all the TOON PROPS back into the truck at
super speed!
GIZMODUCK
Someone needs to move all this artillery into
place, Gizmobuddies.
JITTERS
Uh-oh.
GIZMODUCK
The others and I will make a distraction, while
you and Roddy over there drive this stuff into
the middle of Toontown. We're *counting* on you!
GIZMODUCK flies off and joins the others.
JITTERS
I hate my life.
He starts up the truck.
RODERICK
Well, look at it this way-- at this rate,
you won't have much more to hate!
The TRUCK heads into Toontown!
CUT TO INT. TOONTOWN - NEGADUCK looks up and sees the THUNDERQUACK, with
GIZMODUCK behind it and GENIE in front!
NEGADUCK
Well, if it isn't the ragtag bunch
of do-gooding dorks come to close
down my criminal crusade... how
campy and cliched. Well--
NEGADUCK stops sucking in parts of TOONTOWN!
Now, they're on MY TURF! Time to
cut ourselves off from the world!
NEGADUCK WAVES the PEN in the air, and a SHOCK WAVE flies out, surrounding
TOONTOWN in a explosion-like sphere of light!
PULL BACK TO a view of the HOLLYWOOD SKYLINE. A large, BLINDING LIGHT
lashes out from the direction of Toontown, and a thunderclap can be heard!
When the light fades, Toontown is GONE, a desolate wasteland left in its
wake!
PULL BACK to show this on a TV SCREEN. SHIRLEY WRIGHT is standing in front
of the desolation.
SHIRLEY
Toontown has just dissappeared, and
with it the toon heroes who entered
in hopes of bringing an end to
Negaduck's criminal career. How will
this end? Stay tuned as we attempt to
find out... but first, a word from our
sponsors!
CUT TO STATIC AND FADE OUT
END OF ACT III
ACT IV
FADE IN TO PRESENT TIME RUBBER ROOM
MIRANDA
And that was the last we heard of
them. Shirl's been tryin' to find
out more, but--
The RUBBER ROOM shakes! The door bursts open, and SHIRLEY WRIGHT and her
news crew run in! Several COPS seal the door shut! MIRANDA and SHIRLEY hug.
MIRANDA
I'm glad you're okay, sis. What's
going on out there?
SHIRLEY
The last of Negaduck's tampered
toons just exploded. The city
looks like a warzone out there.
Fires are blazing all over the
place-- it'll be hours before
it'll be safe to go out there
again.
MIRANDA
Any word on Bonkers and the
others?
SHIRLEY
Not a thing. They've been gone
for over fifteen minutes now.
The DOOR to the club BURSTS OPEN again! It's CHIEF SKEWER, backgrounded
by the sounds of a city in CHAOS!
SKEWER
The worst, though it doesn't sound
like it, is over. We have to hit the
streets for cleanup detail. A few
of us'll head to what's left of
Toontown to look for Bonkers and his
band of heroes. Let's move, people!
Somebody yells out "But it's not safe out there!"
SKEWER
What, did you think you were all doing?
*Hiding* out here? I knew Negaduck's
wave of violence would turn on itself--
now we've got to stop the people of
LA from doing the same. COME ON!
Everyone rushes out of the RUBBER ROOM.
CUT TO INT. THUNDERQUACK. It's all cracked and battered, and there's the
front end of Jitters' TRUCK in the dash. Our heroes are gone, except for
BONKERS and JITTERS. BONKERS feels a bump on his head.
BONKERS
OWEE! How long were we out?
JITTERS
I think fifteen minutes or so,
right after you guys crashed into
my truck and I ended up in here.
RODERICK LIZZARD crawls out from under a seat.
RODERICK
Goodness gracious, look at my hair!
BONKERS
Where *is* everybody?
JITTERS points to a large TV in the sky. NEGADUCK can be seen on it, and
next to him a BOTTLE in which GENIE is trapped.
NEGADUCK
So, Hollywood's only toon cop,
his accident prone sidekick and
the animated ego with feet've
come into town to teach me a *lesson*,
eh? How interesting.
BONKERS
Give it up, you fowl-mouthed felon!
The long arm'a the law, the thin
blue line, the good guys, we're here
ta take you out!
NEGADUCK
And what makes you think you have a chance?
We see MONTEREY JACK tied up, GIZMODUCK stuck to an electromagnet,
and GENIE in a clear bottle.
BONKERS
We're the *good* guys, remember? The Good
Guys *always* win!
NEGADUCK
Oh, really? Well, my orange opponent,
that hysterical hypothesis might hold
in typical ol' toontown, but thanks to
the pervasive power of the Pen, well...
now we're nearly nothin' but NEGAVERSE!
BONKERS and JITTERS look around. It's true! Everything in Toontown is
distorted and backwards, looking a lot like a twisted mirror image.
BONKERS
I... I... always thought the Darkwing
Duck writers made that stuff up!
RODERICK
(sotto, to JITTERS)
Speaking of which, where is Darkwing?
NEGADUCK
Think *again*, you braindead Bobcat!
Using the Pen, I've opened a portal
to my own personal paradise... and
released yer WORST NIGHTMARES! Welcome
to my cool, CRUEL, WORLD!
We see a very strange-looking bunch of characters appear in the distance
under the TV. They seem oddly familiar...
NEGADUCK
You'll have to get through these guys if
you ever want to find your friends again!
Meet--
The camera pushes in. We see Negaverse equivalents of the Rescue Rangers!
--the RAMBO Rangers! Chop, their brilliant
and sadistic leader. Nailz, his tough but
stupid (not to mention sadistic) sidekick,
the cheese hatin' sadistic muscleman
"Bonza" Ray Smack, *his* sidekick, mosquito
sadist Nipper, and of course, the lovely,
talented, and coulyahaveguessedit? sadistic
inventor, Widget!
CHOP looks like CHIP but has an eyepatch and a sneer, and is wearing a
leather jacket and biker's gloves. NAILZ has a 30's mobster suit on and
stupidly long (and sharp) buck teeth. BONZA RAY SMACK is a big mouse
wearing a muscle shirt-- a bald Monterey Jack with a goatee. NIPPER
is ZIPPER with a long thin stinger and a foaming mouth. WIDGET looks like
GADGET with grey-white hair, a black suit, and red goggles on her hair. She
twitches uncontrollably in one eye.
NEGADUCK
Rambo Rangers! ATTACK!!!
CUT TO BONKERS, JITTERS and RODERICK running away from the THUNDERQUACK
wreckage with the RAMBO RANGERS in pursuit. The RAMBO RANGERS run onto the
edge of a TEETERTOTTER. NEGADUCK fires an ANVIL from long-distance, which
HITS the high end of the TEETERTOTTER, sending the RANGERS hurling ahead
of BONKERS and pals! NAILZ ends up in front of a tree! He holds up his
hand and our heroes STOP!
NAILZ
Where do you guys think yer goin?
I'll use muh mighty *teeth* ta cut
down this tree and smash ya!
NAILS RAMS his BUCK TEETH into a tree, but he just hangs there!
NAILZ
Help! Um stuck!
BONKERS and JITTERS run. RODERICK stands there, laughing.
RODERICK
Well, aren't you a pathetic sight?
"Rambo" Ranger indeed!
BONZA RAY SMACK runs up and grabs NAILZ, yanking him and the ENTIRE TREE
out of the ground! RODERICK starts to run, but BONZA RAY SLAMS him with the
tree, knocking him out! NIPPER grabs him and whisks him away!
CHOP
Only two left! Widget, can you take 'em?
WIDGET
Golly, sure I can, Chop!
WIDGET appears in a huge ROBOT made out of old GARBAGE cans and RECYCLING
BINS. It LURCHES after BONKERS and JITTERS, who are running away!
BONKERS
Jitters, why're we running?
JITTERS
The Rambo Rangers are after us!
BONKERS
But they're only three inches high!
JITTERS
What's your point? They're psychotic!
BONKERS
Look!
BONKERS spins around, hurling a BANANNA CREME PIE at CHOP and NAILZ! It
knocks them back, and STICKS them to the ground!
JITTERS
I can do that!
JITTERS hurls a PIE at BONZA RAY SMACK, who swallows it whole and keeps on
coming!
JITTERS
Oh boy.
BONKERS and JITTERS start running again. WIDGET's robot is catching up with
them, and NIPPER is stabbing JITTERS in the rear a LOT!
BONKERS
Atta boy, Jitters! Keep 'im
distracted!
BONKERS turns again, and fishes several BANANNA PEELS out of his shirt!
CLOSE UP on his eyes, which narrow. ORIENTAL, KUNG-FU sting as BONKERS
hurls out the PEELS like NINJA STARS! They land in front of BONZA RAY
and WIDGET's robot!
BONZA RAY
Wot! Croike! Not bananna peels!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
BONZA RAY slides off into the distance! WIDGET's robot sprouts TANK TREADS
and rolls over the PEELS!
WIDGET
Try again, you nasty ol' cat!
I'm gonna use your whiskers ta
string a new guitar, by golly!
BONKERS whips out a HUGE TOON REMOTE CONTROL, labeled "Channel Commando"
BONKERS
Lucky used ta *hate* it when
I took over the TV with this
thing!
BONKERS taps a few buttons! WIDGET'S ROBOT STOPS, CURTSEYS, and begins to
BREAKDANCE!
WIDGET
Ooh, I'm getting dizzy...
jeepers!
BONKERS taps a few more buttons, and the robot STOPS suddenly! WIDGET FLIES
out, and BONKERS catches her in one hand! In the background, we see JITTERS
SWAT at his neck, allowing a green blob to drip off his hand... he mutters
"Oops, sorry" and blushes.
BONKERS
Tell us how ta get to Negaduck's HQ!
WIDGET
Go ahead! Do yer WORST! I'll never talk!
BONKERS
Okay!
BONKERS swallows her!
BONKERS
I *am* a bob-CAT, after all!
CUT TO INT. BONKERS' stomach. WIDGET is sitting on a FETID COOKIE, next to
a HALF-MOLDY slice of DECOMPOSING PIZZA. A whole CAN of SODA lies to her
side. The odors are VISIBLE.
CUT TO BONKERS. We hear his STOMACH speak.
WIDGET
OK! I'll talk! Just GET ME OUTTA HERE!
We see BONKERS and JITTERS walking towards a major city. They pass a sign
marked "Welcome to Muckburg".
JITTERS and BONKERS are standing next to a HUGE CRATER that has TRUCKS
driving to it and dumping money inside, then leaving. They look at each
other curiously. A HELICOPTER noise comes from within the pit, and we see
a twisted version of GIZMODUCK, the Negaverse's own FIZZMODUCK, rise up
and greet our heroes!
FIZZMODUCK
What're you *trespassers* doin'
at Stooge McCrook's Money Pit?!
BONKERS holds up Widget, who laughs hysterically!
WIDGET
You actually thought I'd tell you
were the boss was! HAHAHAHAHA!
Now you're both DEAD!
Stooge McCrook comes out. He looks like a evil hybrid of Scrooge McDuck and
Flintheart Glomgold.
STOOGE
Fizzy, ye know wot te do with
intruders, aye?
FIZZMODUCK
Yes, sir. Slice 'Em & Dice 'Em!
FADE OUT
END OF ACT IV
ACT V
FADE IN
FIZZMODUCK lifts BONKERS and JITTERS into the air, and wicked-looking
SPINNING BLADES come out of his suit!
JITTERS
Great going, Bonkers! Looks
like Negaduck's gonna have
diced *US* for lunch meat!
STOOGE does a take. BONKERS pulls a horseshoe out of his pocket.
FIZZMODUCK
That won't get you any good luck,
Bobcat!
BONKERS HURLS the horseshoe AWAY from FIZZMODUCK.
FIZZMODUCK
That wasn't even the right direction!
BONKERS
Oh, yes it was...
FOLLOW the horsehoe! PUSH IN to reveal it as a HORSESHOE MAGNET! The MAGNET
spins around and FLIES right for FIZZMODUCK's face!
FIZZMODUCK
Wha?
The MAGNET SLAMS HIM! FIZZMODUCK falls over, but he's still holding BONKERS
and JITTERS! The blades are closer! BONKERS closes his eyes! The BLADES stop!
STOOGE McDUCK is holding a remote control!
STOOGE
You boys say yer fightin'
*Negaduck*?
BONKERS
Are we ever! He's tryin' ta mix
Toontown with da Negaverse!
STOOGE fumes.
STOOGE
E'er since thot no-gooder left,
I've been tha one in control
here, an' I want nothin' ta do
w'Toontown or you goody goody
Posiverse toons!
BONKERS
Look! We've got a common enemy,
an' you know what they say, the
friend of yer friend is yer
enemy, or somethin' like that!
STOOGE
Yer about as eloquent as a horse
w'halitosis, laddie-- but ye have
a point. Muckworth, me personal
lackey'll take ye around the
Negaverse by Jet-- maybe thot way
ye'll find Negaduck faster. Just
make sure ta ake him with ye when you
go!
BONKERS
You've got a deal!
MUCKWORTH, a scuzzy version of DUCKWORTH, takes JITTERS and BONKERS to
a Lear Jet with the McCROOK logo on the side of it, and the JET takes off!
CUT TO NEGADUCK's HQ. NEGADUCK is in front of a HUGE TV screen, sitting on a
throne. Below him, on a second level, MONTEREY JACK is trapped in a FLAMING
wedge of cheese, GENIE's in a bottle, GIZMODUCK's on an electromagnet, and
RODERICK is strapped to a chair with his eyes taped open watching FULL HOUSE
reruns. Below that, there is an ANVIL lying on the ground.
RODERICK
*Kill* the Olson twins! Kill them!!!
The SOUND of a JET roaring overheard can be heard! We see JITTERS and BONKERS
falling from the sky! JITTERS pulls his parachute cord, and KITCHEN UTENSILS
falls out of his parachute! JITTERS SLAMS into GENIE's BOTTLE, SMASHING it
open! GENIE begins freeing the other heroes! BONKERS' parachute opens a
second AFTER he smashes into the ground in front of Negaduck, sending the
ANVIL, which was near him, HURTLING into the sky!
NEGADUCK
Funny how we keep meeting like
this, Bobcat. And to think,
before I got fired from Wackytoons,
we were nothin' to each other. Now,
though, we're as close as two toons
can be. You're my *victim*, and I'm
your *executioner*!
BONKERS pulls himself out of the ground.
BONKERS
I don't think so, Neggy! We're
takin' ya outta da Negaverse!
NEGADUCK
I don't think so, you tempestuous
tabby! True, I tire of the dull
decor, but I brought something,
well *things* with me, that should
improve that!
AKIRA steps out from behind NEGADUCK!
Ol' Akira here'll BLAST the NEGAVERSE
into a New World Order custom made to
my design. An' while he's doin' that--
BLINKERS E. BADCATT steps out from behind AKIRA!
Blinky here'll take *you* out! He never
got to settle the score with you for that
humiliating humdinger of a defeat you
gave him in Ol' Japan.
AKIRA flies off! GENIE and the other heroes look to BONKERS.
BONKERS
You guys stop Akira! I'll handle this
Bad Cat!
NEGADUCK slinks off! We hear sappy music, and see the GLITTER of PEN MAGIC!
AKIRA has gone to the center of town! Our heroes fly in and surround him!
AKIRA turns into a HUGE, WHITE, SILENT ANIME EXPLOSION! Our heroes back off
and try to outrun it!
CUT BACK TO BONKERS and BLINKERS
BLINKERS
Annnny last reeeeeeequessssssssts beeeefore
you dieeeeeeeeee, Bobcaaaaaaaat?
BONKERS
Yeah! Tell me what that "E" stands for!
BLINKERS whips out his wickedly long claws!
BLINKERS
Why, *Eeeeeeeeeeeevillll*, of course!
What does the "D" stand for?
BLINKERS leaps at BONKERS! BONKERS stands there, and nonchalantly sticks out
a RASPBERRY PINEAPPLE pie, which BLINKERS RAMS his face into! BLINKERS pulls
back, choking and gasping, making ridiculous pantomimes asking for water,
help, anything. He drops out of shot, still gagging at the hideous taste.
BONKERS looks right at the camera, still holding the PIE out.
BONKERS
Oh, I dunno,
"Dangerous", "Dapper", "Daring",
take yer pick!
The HEROES fly by BONKERS! GENIE's head swings back, obviously on an
extended neck! BONKERS drops the pie and looks at him.
GENIE
Bonkman! Anime Explosion heading your way in
one minute! Gizmo's found a way out,
but he says it'll take the force
of the explosion to knock us back into
Realitysville!
BONKERS
Work on it! I haveta see a *duck* about a *Pen*.
The HEROES, watched by JITTERS and RODERICK, start messing with a piece
of the sky behind BONKERS.
BONKERS takes a step forwards, but a HUGE (twice as large as before)
NEGADUCK appears, eyes GLOWING red. He's buffer and tougher than before, and
he's holding the Pen!
NEGADUCK
Behold-- the awesome might of... *MEGAduck*!!!
BONKERS
You used the Pen on yer *self* ?!
MEGADUCK speaks with an echo effect. Thunder rumbles all around him.
MEGADUCK
Ya got that right, Bonkers!
There's only just enough ink
left to save your girl Fawn--
MEGADUCK shows BONKERS the inside of the ballpoint. Only a few drops are
left inside.
--but I feel thirsty!
I think I'll have a *drink*.
BONKERS isn't fazed, even as MEGADUCK lifts the Pen to his mouth. MEGADUCK
notes this, and stops.
MEGADUCK
How much time does she have left?
Ten hours? Is that enough time
to find a cure, or say goodbye?
Aren't you going to try something?
Aren't you gonna do something dramatic?
Aren't you gonna go after the one thing
you've wanted the *most* in the whole
world!?
BONKERS
Nope. Remember, I'm the good guy! I can't lose!
MEGADUCK
Idiot! Forgetting the fact that this is REAL
LIFE, we're in the NEGAVERSE! That rule
doesn't apply!
BONKERS
True, true...
BONKERS looks at the camera, grinning, as an ANVIL falls out of the sky,
SLAMMING MEGADUCK into the ground! MEGADUCK's ARMS jut out at angles, and
one of them holds the Pen's lower half!
BONKERS
But I'm *also* a master of comedy timing.
The EXPLOSION rushes at BONKERS and the others!
CUT TO TOONTOWN- a barren, burnt-out wasteland.
LUCKY, MIRANDA, DENNIS, STARK, SKEWER, MAYOR KANIFKY, SHIRLEY WRIGHT, SNITCH,
FALLAPART and others are standing around, looking for Bonkers and the others.
Behind them we see HOLLYWOOD in flames. A POINT of light appears! SKEWER sees
it, but says nothing. LUCKY notices it.
LUCKY
Well, would ya look at that!
The point BURSTS into a HUGE mini-explosion! BONKERS, JITTERS, RODERICK,
GIZMODUCK, MONTEREY JACK, and THE GENIE come flying out of it! Everybody
helps them to their feet, and all circle the now basketball sized point of
light, which has one of MEGADUCK's arms sticking out of it-- the one holding
the Pen!
SKEWER
The rift in spacetime is closing...
The POINT of light is shrinking. MEGADUCK's arm is slowly receding into
the light. BONKERS carefully pulls the Pen from MEGADUCK's hand as the arm
slips into the light, vanishing! The point becomes smaller, and as everyone
turns away, it forms itself into a marble-like structure, which PLOPS onto
the ground. DARKWING appears in a puff of smoke!
GIZMODUCK
Where *were* you, DW? We missed you
at the party!
GENIE flies off into the distance at super-high-speed!
DARKWING says nothing, but looks at the PEN. He seems tired, somehow.
BONKERS
Why do I get the feelin' you need
what's in this Pen as much as--
GENIE flys back, looking like a medical chopper. He's carrying PROFESSOR
VON DRAKE and a nearly faded-out FAWN DEER. GENIE sets them down next to
BONKERS and DW.
--Fawn does?
DARKWING looks long and hard at the PEN, and then at FAWN.
BONKERS looks at DW.
BONKERS
I'm sure we can--
DARKWING vanishes in a puff of SMOKE, leaving BONKERS with the PEN and FAWN.
VON DRAKE takes the PEN, and pours the last of its contents on FAWN. There's
sappy music, and FAWN returns to normal. She's sleeping.
VON DRAKE
Ya got zis to her in da nick'o time,
lemmetellya! Any later, and she voulda
vanished fer good! She's a bit vorn out
frum da experience, zo ve should give
her a day to rest, ok?
BONKERS
Whatever you say, doc! I'm just glad
ta have everything back ta normal!
As the others swarm around congratulating BONKERS and the heroes, DARKWING
DUCK can be seen walking away from the crowd slowly, unnoticed. Throwing his
gloves off one at a time, then his cape, jacket, sweater, goggles and hat,
he moves further away. As he keeps moving, the sun sets and we see the lone
figure of a short, thick human in an almost-black shirt moving into the
fire-lit Hollywood night, pulling out a gun as sirens call out a chorus of
continuing crime...
END OF PART 4
To Be Continued...