BONKERS!: The NEW Adventures "THE BEST OF BOTH TOONS" Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY, DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY. (And I stay true to the characters!) DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS NOTICE REMAINS INTACT NOTE: This story starts a week after the last, "Morph's the Pity", and it marks the next numbing step in a continuity similar to that of Doctor Who: The New Adventures. TEASER EST. 34th PRECINCT (DAY) PUSH IN on UPPER FLOORS and FADE IN TO INT. CAPTAIN SKEWER'S OFFICE OVERLAY TEXT: LAST TIME ON BONKERS: THE NEW ADVENTURES GRATING slams his fist into the table. GRATING After all we went through! Getting tied up, gagged, run through death traps and flying in morphing toons--! PAN to the OFFICE DOORWAY, where DENNIS is standing, huffing for breath. DENNIS Remember Speedy, the Friendly Rabbit? That toon who wants to axe all the new dramatic cartoons out there? He's busted out of jail and he's got some other two-tone toons with him! They're being chased by the Vigilante- We've seen the Vigilante in daylight! We know who he is- DARKWING DUCK! Remove TEXT. FADE IN on BONKERS' startled expression. (in background) GRATING- Who? BONKERS Darkwing duck!? No way! No how! You guys probably got confused. DENNIS No, I'm telling you- it WAS him! Purple cape, oversized ego, it WAS Darkwing Duck! Favor GRATING. GRATING Who is Darkwing Duck?! Will somebody tell me, already!? CUT TO SKEWER.. SKEWER A Toon actor whose show focused on the exploits of a vigilante' that routinely saved the city of St. Canard (and several small planets) from destruction. The Syndicate members had been the villians in that show. It only follows that Darkwing would reprise his old role as well. MIRANDA smiles. MIRANDA I didn't know you watched cartoons, Captain. SKEWER I don't. MIRANDA But how-? SKEWER I have my methods. What's more important now is that we stop this toon with a grudge against film noir cartoons, and track down this vigilante, Darkwing Duck. BONKERS Lemme go after Darkwing, boss! Please! He's my idol- and a fellow actor! (dramaticially) We can bond, we can relate! We can do LUNCH! SKEWER Sorry, Bonkers. Much as I'd like to indulge your fan worship, thus leaving the rest of us time to do our jobs, unfortunately, you were the toon responsible for taking down Speedy the last time. He may relate to you, since you're both washed up has-beens, anyway. BONKERS is angry-upset. SKEWER'S remarks have hit a nerve. BONKERS Fine! This washed-up actor's a COP now, and I'll do my JOB, SIR! SKEWER Fine, fine. Take Officer Wright with you. Dennis and Stark will go after Darkwing. Dismissed. Everyone starts to go OS. SKEWER lowers his sunglasses. SKEWER Oh, Sergeant Grating... get back here, please. GRATING Whaddya you want!?.... sir. SKEWER smiles. GRATING winces. For the next line, SKEWER's monotone slips. SKEWER Heheh... I KNOW how much you love toons, Frank. So I'm assigning you to be in charge of the taskforce dedicated to the apprehension of Darkwing Duck. You'll have to consult with many...MANY...And I mean, MANY Toon experts. Aren't you happy? (slowly, with relish) I am. GRATING is flustered, but he manages to keep his mouth shut. A slight noise can be heard coming from him. A weak, desperate noise. A Whine. SKEWER I knew you'd just LOVE this assignment. Ciao. GRATING walks out of the office slowly. BONKERS and MIRANDA are standing just outside the door, laughing quietly as GRATING stalks to his desk and sits down. growling. CUT TO EXT. SPEEDY MANSION . The MANSION is excessively ornate, but in the 30's wacky style of toon animation. Almost every part of the structure is a two-tone prop of some kind, with an attitude. SPEEDY and a gang of Two Tone TOON POLICEMEN (ala keystone cops) are sauntering out of the door as if they were in a 30's musical cartoon. SPEEDY (Al Capone Voice which he will maintain for rest of episode) Awright, boyz... just follow the plan, see? POLICEMEN (chorus) Duh... follow the plan... duh... got it, boss! SPEEDY Yeah. Just don't mess up. We've gotta corner da market, see? POLICEMEN Corner da market.... duh, ya boss! SPEEDY (sotto) It's only a matter of time now. FADE IN TO WACKTOONS STUDIO- INT. BUCKY BUZZSAW SOUNDSTAGE BUCKY BUZZSAW is acting in a scene as DUCK JONES directs. The TOON POLICEMEN walk in. Their two tone appearance is a striking contrast to the colorful toons of today. DJ sees the two tones as they try to get on the stage. DUCK JONES Hey, you guys! This is a CLOSED set! Stay off the set! POLICEMAN 1 We're here to work, Mister Jones. DUCK JONES I don't know where you guys have been, but uh, this studio hasn't hired a two-tone in over sixty years! Maybe if you guys got re-inked and got those corny 30's pieslices outta yer eyes- POLICEMAN 2 We already got a boss... an' he told us to do a job... so, umm.. we're gonna do it. THE TOON POLICEMEN pull out a HUGE TOON BAG and STUFF DUCK JONES in it! BUCKY BUZZSAW Hey! That's my BOSS! He signs my CHECKS! What're you doing to him!? POLICEMAN 3 You're gonna find out... real soon. THE POLICEMEN BUCKY with a huge MALLET. They put him into the bag and walk out. CUT TO BONKERS OPENER FADE IN TO INT. CAPTAIN SKEWER'S OFFICE. MIRANDA and BONKERS are sitting at the ROUND TABLE. SKEWER is fiddling with the TV in the right wall bookcase as he speaks. SKEWER It's been two weeks since we got word of Speedy's escape. Ever since then, toon actors and directors have been vanishing left and right, and we haven't got a clue. And now this: SKEWER cues up a video on the TV. TIGHT on the TV screen. TOM DRIBBLE And once again topping the news- with the loss of another major toon star, Wackytoons studio has been put up for sale. If a buyer isn't found, the studio will have to shut down. Other studios have already folded, leading to a worsening of the toon layoffs in Hollywo- SKEWER shuts off the TV. BONKERS Wackytoons for SALE?! That place was a rock! SKEWER Speedy's cause is going to get a big boost from all these laid off toons. MIRANDA But I thought he only stood for and end to Dramatic Cartoons. SKEWER Most of the laid off toons are of the "slapstick" variety, and they're already upset. You two have got to find Speedy and lock him up before this gets any bigger. BONKERS Let's GO! The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can help da Sarge look for Darkwing Duck! CUT TO INT. RUBBER ROOM. A large crowd of toons is gathered around the STAGE as BONKERS and MIRANDA walk in. BONKERS walks up to the JUICE BAR and talks to BULLFINCH. BONKERS Bullfinch! What's going on? Why're there so many toons here? BULLFINCH There's gonna be a big announcement! Some TOON is gonna buy out Wackytoons! He's in the room, but no one knows who he is. BONKERS is ecstatic. He turns to MIRANDA. BONKERS Wow! A TOON running a Toon studio! That'll be great! I wonder who the new owner's gonna be? MIRANDA Bonkers, we have to find Speedy. Let's ask around and see if anyone's seen him. BONKERS walks up to YAKKO WARNER. BONKERS Hey, Yakko! Have you seen Speedy the Friendly Rabbit around here? YAKKO Hey, Bonkers! Have you seen Elmyra around here? BONKERS visibly shudders. BONKERS Nope. YAKKO Answered your own question. See ya! MIRANDA sees YAKKO and stops him. MIRANDA Wait! Can I ask you a question? YAKKO HELLO, NURSE! (sweetly) Can I buy you Lunch? Dinner? A small island... say, Australia? MIRANDA I've never been fond of beachfront property. I need your help. YAKKO Anything for you... YAKKO is moving closer. MIRANDA is moving backwards. MIRANDA You Warners are the only two-tone toons who are still popular. How'd you do it? YAKKO I'll have you know I'm a THREE TONE! YAKKO honks his nose. YAKKO Well, we stayed in a really big tower for a LONG time, hid out Elvis for a while, and then we came out and wreaked havoc. PLUS, we have colored clothing and a really lazy Broadcast Standards and Practices department. Allow me to demonstrate. YAKKO is moving TOO close for MIRANDA's comfort. She neatly steps aside as YAKKO tries to SMOOCH her, only to end up kissing ELMYRA! ELMYRA HEY! A cutesy-wootsie, cuddly-wuddly little puppyhead! YAKKO looks at the screen in an expression of raw terror. At the sound of ELMYRA, half the toons run out screaming, with her in pursuit! BONKERS walks up to MIRANDA ans pulls her to the stage. MIRANDA What is it, Bonkers? BONKERS I found Speedy! Look! SPEEDY is seated on stage, wearing a suit and sipping coffee out of a green MUG. REPORTERS are all around him. REPORTER Speedy, is it true that you intend to buy up the now almost worthless Wackytoons studio, home to such prior shows as "The Bucky Buzzsaw Show", "Goof Troop" and "Darkwing Duck" not to mention flops like "Flabby Fred and Biceps Bill" and "He's Bonkers"? BONKERS HEY! MIRANDA holds the irate bobcat back. SPEEDY The rumors are quite true. Further, I intend to hire all laid off COMEDIC toons and two tones, in order to create the best studio ever known! REPORTER And how will you be paying for this? And aren't you a fugitive from the law? SPEEDY I'm going to pay for it with this. SPEEDY holds up the green mug and turns it around. It's a "He's Bonkers" mug. SPEEDY Bonkers D. Bobcat is a hot commodity in Tokyo. Until Halloween, this trinket was worth nothing. But Mr. Bobcat had been hoarding them all in his old house, in a failed attempt to charge admission to the "Bonkers D. Bobcat Museum". Due to rather interesting circumstances, his home and all memorabilia was crushed. BONKERS (sotto) Stupid flying saucer pilot! SPEEDY Thus making this the last Bonkers mug on THE PLANET. Not even the "Hello Bonkers Boutique" in Tokyo has one. And I'm selling it to the highest bidder... in Tokyo, of course. Here, it's still worth nothing. BONKERS You're using MY mug to finance your evilly...umm... evil plot?! MIRANDA has pulled out her cuffs and has walked up to SPEEDY. MIRANDA I'm afraid you're still a fugitive from the law. I'm gonna have to take you in. FENTON CRACKSHELL runs in from OS. FENTON Mr. Rabbit? I did it! The Japanese want the mug for 30 million yen, as a gift to the new Prime Minister! I've transferred the advance to the deposit on Wackytoons! THE MAYOR walks in, surrounded by accountants. THE MAYOR Which means he now owns the studio that could solve this growing toon layoff problem. The Governor has decided to pardon Speedy so that he may help Hollywood in its time of need. Officer Wright, please put the handcuffs away. THE MAYOR and SPEEDY SHAKE HANDS, MIRANDA and BONKERS are shocked. THE MAYOR Mr. Rabbit, I wish you good luck in your new business venture. (to reporters) Photo-Op! Lots of pictures are taken. SPEEDY is walking out with the MAYOR. He passes by BONKERS and leans over. SPEEDY The game's just started, Bonkie. We've at the 2nd hole and I'm 10 under par. You haven't even got a club. BONKERS You're thinking of your old golf commercials again! Say what you mean! I hate sports metaphors! SPEEDY (darkly) As you once said, "We're gonna slap- stick it to 'em!" SPEEDY laughs as BONKERS and MIRANDA look on, worried. FADE OUT END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO FADE IN TO INT. 34th PRECINCT, SECOND FLOOR. BONKERS and MIRANDA are working on some paperwork, when the whole floor starts to shake in time with a THUD sound coming from OS. MIRANDA Bonkers! I think we're having another earthquake! BONKERS Nope. It's a Goliath. GOLIATH is walking into shot. His steps are ponderous, and he is obviously preoccupied. The stares of some of the generic officers mean nothing to him. GOLIATH Bonkers... there is a... problem that requires your immediate attention. BONKERS What's the matter? GOLIATH turns to face BONKERS. His eyes are glowing. GOLIATH My fellow Gargoyles and I have lost our jobs. MIRANDA Gargoyles off the air!? That can't be! The paper always shows it with top ratings! GOLIATH Perhaps. But Wackytoons studio has flooded the airwaves with episodes of classic slapstick cartoon shows. They have paid to have the dramatic cartoons taken off the air. It has caused many of the "dramatic" toons to become... upset. MIRANDA How upset? CAPTAIN SKEWER walks in from OS. SKEWER Upset enough to start a riot. The Hollywood Bowl now looks like a cross between a pie eating contest and the aftermath of Star Trek II. CUT TO HOLLYWOOD BOWL- NIGHT. It's a brawl as dozens of TOONS are hurling pies, anvils and food at one another. The X-Men and others are fighting back in their own unique ways. CLOSE ON WOLVERINE cutting a PIE to ribbons with his CLAWS. PAN OVER to BONKERS and MIRANDA, who cautiously enter from the left. MIRANDA Where's Goliath? BONKERS Dunno. He went up the-- BONKERS does a TAKE as GOLIATH swoops down into the center of the bowl! GOLIATH ROARS! All activity stops. LITTLE RUNNING GAG splats the side of his head with a PIE. GOLIATH wipes the pie off his head and folds his wings around him. GOLIATH Friends! We cannot fight one another like this! WOLVERINE stalks up. WOLVERINE I don't get it, bub! You got the axe just like the rest of us! SLAPPY SQUIRREL ambles in. SLAPPY Whaddya you care, Wolvie?! You've got tons of residuals from your comic books coming! When was the last time you saw a "Slappy Squirrel" book, eh? ALL OTHER TOONS (chorus) We're not that old! SLAPPY Shaddup already! BONKERS walks into the center next to GOLIATH. BONKERS Look guys... this is crazy! First the slapstick toons get made at the dramatic toons, then the dramatic toons want at the slapstick toons... I don't get it! We're all toons! The other TOONS look at one another curiously. MIRANDA gives BONKERS a thumbs up. BONKERS I mean, I got canceled... but I'm not bitter! SLAPPY Of course not! You've got a cushy job with the city! The other TOONS start to get angry at BONKERS. MIRANDA jumps in. MIRANDA Wait! What are you "classic" toons doing here anyway? I thought Wackytoons hired you all back? SLAPPY Puh-Leeze. Speedy's always been an exaggerator. Why, back in '36 he once sai-- THE OTHER TOONS (chorus) GET ON WITH IT! SLAPPY Awright Already! No, he didn't hire us! He just plays ripped off videotapes of us on the airwaves! MIRANDA Well, at least you know you're not unpopular compared to the film noir toons. The other toons nod slowly. They begin to disperse. GOLIATH And we were bought off the air. I suspect a deeper motive. MIRANDA I think we need to go back to the station to do some more checking. YAKKO WARNER re-approaches MIRANDA, who begins instinctively backing off. YAKKO (sweetly) I have some information you might want, *officer*. MIRANDA What? YAKKO Do I get a get a big kiss if I tell you? MIRANDA is ready to deck the toon, when BONKERS walks over to him. BONKERS Uhh, Yakko, you'd better quit it, or I'll drop my anvil on you. PULL BACK to reveal an ANVIL over YAKKO. YAKKO Humph! Your anvil doesn't scare me! BONKERS Well, what about these? PULL WAAAAAY BACK to reveal many anvils above that one, all increasing in size until the top one is about as wide as the HOLLYWOOD BOWL itself. PUSH IN ON YAKKO. YAKKO Uhh... I think I'll tell ya. Speedy did hire some toons. But befor eI tell ya, please do me one little favor! YAKKO Clings to MIRANDA, who looks hopelessly at BONKERS MIRANDA What? YAKKO Get rid of HER. YAKKO steps aside to reveal ELMYRA running to him. ELMYRA Ooh! I found da cute little puppyhead! BONKERS I'll get it, buddy. Move aside. YAKKO moves aside, and ELMYRA steps into his position. BONKERS snaps his fingers and the ANVILs all come down one after another on her. MIRANDA winces with each CLANG! of the anvils. MIRANDA Now... who did Speedy hire? CUT TO INT. SKEWER's OFFICE. SKEWER is walking around the ROUND TABLE. MIRANDA is sitting at the table, looking at SKEWER and BONKERS, who is having some unfortunate misadventure outside the window. SKEWER Ludwing von Drake, Gyro Gearloose, The Brain, and Gadget Hackwrench. MIRANDA Well, I know Von Drake... SKEWER These toons aret the most creative and intelligent that toontown has ever produced. That SPEEDY would only hire them means he's got something up his sleeve. MIRANDA I think Bonkers and I should stake out Wackytoons Studio, sir. SKEWER Agreed. You two managed to diffuse things at the Hollywood bowl. That looked good for the press, and what looks good for them, looks good for me. Keep this up, and we'll all be happier. You'll have Grating in charge and I'll be in some other desk job! MIRANDA Yes, Captain. MIRANDA walks up to the window, opens it, and YANKS BONKERS INSIDE! MIRANDA Come on, Bonkers, we have work to do. CUT TO EXT. WACKYTOONS BACKLOT STAGE 13- DEEP NIGHT Something is going on in the backlot. Out of the Windows, red light is streaming. BONKERS and MIRANDA are creeping up to the window. MIRANDA tries to look in, but the light is too blinding. MIRANDA I think Skewer's sunglasses might have been useful here, Bonkers. BONKERS I can get us a look. Watch. BONKERS raises his left ear like a TELESCOPING ANTENNA. The EAR wiggles up along the side of the building and across the roof, where it points down into a SKYLIGHT. BONKERS' eyesockets produce the eyepieces to a PERISCOPE set. BONKERS Take a look! MIRANDA stoops down and looks in the periscope. MIRANDA Focus. The EAR moves a bit, and MIRANDA signals an OK. CUT TO INT. STAGE 13, as seen through PERISCOPE. GADGET, VON DRAKE, THE BRAIN, and GYRO are stooping over a table where SPEEDY lies. The RABBIT is hooked up to a maze of equiptment. BRAIN I must warn you this is an inadvisable procedure, Mr. Rabbit. The side effects could be... displeasing. SPEEDY I don't care! You know what you have to do! The TOONS look at one another. GYRO timidly walks up to a large switch and throws it! Many LIGHTS and bells go off. Amid the hubub, the toons speak. VON DRAKE NucleoPozitronz positif! GADGET Lactoalic Spigglepops popping! GYRO Primary de-inking apparatus functioning within normal parameters! BRAIN THE GREEN LIGHT IS ON! The other TOONS look at BRAIN. BRAIN Sorry. Oh! The final stage has initiated! DRAMATIC MUSIC as we see a TUBE running from SPEEDY's ARM to a vat. PUSH IN ON THE TUBE to show first color, then black and grey draining into the vat. BRAIN locks it off, and GYRO slaps a sticker on it that reads: "TOON PAINT" The RED LIGHT intensifies. We see a CLEAR hand flinch. Suddenly, there is an EXPLOSION! All the toons are thrown out of the studio! MIRANDA is knocked out! BONKERS is standing aghast, staring at the center of the scene! PUSH IN past some smoke and fog to reveal... THE DISCONTINUATOR! THE DISCONTINUATOR is a completely clear toon. All that is visible of him are glowing green lines, that trace out a half-cybernetic, half rabbit toon. He speaks in a deep, echoing voice. THE DISCONTINUATOR I am THE DISCONTINUATOR. Resistance is futile. You will be discontinued. BONKERS Oh no! Speedy's become a network programming director! FADE OUT END OF ACT TWO ACT THREE FADE IN THE DISCONTINUATOR watches as BONKERS drags MIRANDA off screen. He turns to GYRO GEARLOOSE and touches him on the shoulder. GYRO's color is drained from him, and he POOFS into nothingness. DISCONTINUATOR burps and a small bit of color comes to him. He looks at GADGET, VON DRAKE and THE BRAIN, all of whom are scrambling away. THE DISCONTINUATOR The abilities, knowledge and slapstick power of Gyro Gearloose have been added to my own. Resistance is futile. You will be discontinued. He touches the toons- they drain and dissappear. CUT TO INT. SQUAD CAR 13. BONKERS is driving. MIRANDA is coming to in her seat. MIRANDA Owww... Bonkers, what happened? BONKERS Speedy's done something to himself! He's gone all clear and evil! CUT TO INT. SKEWER's OFFICE - TIGHT ON SKEWER SKEWER But WHY? That's what I want to know. Reports have him heading from a deserted Wackytoons Studio. Bonkers, you and Miranda will have to stop him by any means neccessary. If he can be stopped. CUT TO DISNEY STUDIOS-DAWN. AERIAL SHOT OF A POLICE BLOCKADE. THE DISCONTINUATOR is walking towards the blockade, unconcerned. He has much more color to him. MIRANDA (through bullhorn) SPEEDY! Hold it, or we'll FIRE! THE DISCONTINUATOR (sounding like Goofy) Gawrsh. Guess I give up... YA-HOO-HOO-IE! THE DISCONTINUATOR trips as if GOOFY, and falls down a MANHOLE! He reappears BEHIND the blockade! THE DISCONTINUATOR (normal) Fools. I am the THE DISCONTINUATOR. I have absorbed many toons. My power grows with each new assimilation. Soon I will have enough power to be the greatest slapstick toon in existence! I will now discontinue some of the funniest toons in history! PUSH IN ON THE DISCONTINUATOR. RACK FADE to show MICKEY, DONALD and PLUTO armed with TOON CANNONS ready to fire on THE DISCONTINUATOR. RACK FADE back to THE DISCONTINUATOR, who morphs slightly to form DUMBO EARS. He flies over the cannon, lands behind the three toons, and touches them. They drain and pop out. THE DISCONTINUATOR is even more colorful now. The ears revert to normal. BONKERS He discontinued the mouse! This can't be! MIRANDA Open fire! The POLICE fire on THE DISCONTINUATOR. He shrugs off the bullets, launching some anvils from his hands which trash some SQUAD CARS, and heads for BONKERS! MIRANDA gets in between them! MIRANDA You're not going to discontinue my partner! THE DISCONTINUATOR touches MIRANDA, but nothing happens. He turns and walks away a bit before turning back to BONKERS. THE DISCONTINUATOR (in FAWN DEER's voice) Come on, Bonkers. Join us. Together we can make a difference. We can make it better for toons in this town again. BONKERS is surprised. BONKERS Fawn? THE DISCONTINUATOR (Fawn's voice) Please, Bonkers. You're the only one who can help us now. BONKERS' expression softens. THE DISCONTINUATOR Help us with our cause- BONKERS realizes that it is THE DISCONTINUATOR, not Fawn, speaking. He gets mad. BONKERS You discontinued FAWN?! Why, you- BONKERS leaps towards THE DISCONTINUATOR! From OS, SKEWER JUMPS in the way and deflects him! THE DISCONTINUATOR gets away. BONKERS looks up into SKEWER'S mirrored shades. BONKERS (weakly) He's got Fawn! PULL BACK to reveal the shattered POLICE BLOCKADE. Cars are smoking, the TOON CANNONS are lying on the ground, MIRANDA is standing next to SKEWER, who is squatting down next to the upset BONKERS. SKEWER (trying to snap BONKERS out of it) OFFICER! He'll have more than that if we don't get a move on! He's making a straight line for the RUBBER ROOM! BONKERS Then that's where we're gonna stop him! CUT TO EXT. RUBBER ROOM. There is an EXPLOSION as a plume of smoke comes rushing out from the doors as the SQUAD CAR pulls up. CUT TO INT. RUBBER ROOM. THE DISCONTINUATOR is standing in the shattered doorway. The BULLY BOYS have stopped playing thier music, and dozens of toons are staring at him. ELMYRA walks up to him, wearing some bandages on her head. ELMYRA Oh look! A clear cuddly wuddly bunnyhead! THE DISCONTINUATOR Fool! I am THE- ELMYRA runs up and squishes THE DISCONTINUATOR. her color is draining, but it takes a while, and THE DISCONTINUATOR is squirming in pain until she pops out. The other toons see this and start to run away, until THE DISCONTINUATOR fires a ray from his hand that causes them to FLOAT in the air! THE DISCONTINUATOR (in GYRO GEARLOOSE' s voice) You all remember my Furniture Mover ray, right? Well this was the long-awaited furniture floatation ray! BONKERS, SKEWER and MIRANDA walk in the door as THE DISCONTINUATOR floats the last toon over to him and pops it out of existence. He is fully colored as half Speedy/half metallic robot, and now he begins to GROW. SKEWER This could be bad. BONKERS He's mine! BONKERS is rushing towards THE DISCONTINUATOR! SKEWER throws a small ANVIL from the floor at him and knocks him down while THE DISCONTINUATOR escapes. BONKERS huffs over to SKEWER. BONKERS You let him go AGAIN! SKEWER Would you rather be stuck in his gut? BONKERS I have to save FAWN! MIRANDA He absorbs toons by touch! You would've popped out just like the others! BONKERS So how're we supposed to stop this guy? All the toon geniuses are IN HIM! SKEWER There's one major target left- Warner Brothers Studio. We're going to have to get over there and finish him off. BONKERS But HOW!? CUT TO EXT. WARNER BROS. STUDIO- MIDMORNING There are tanks and helicopters surrounding the WATER TOWER. SKEWER and THADDEUS PLOTZ and standing in front of the lead tank. The WARNER BROS & DOT are peeking out of the WB Logo on the tower. There is quite a wind blowing. PUSH IN on SKEWER. SKEWER The Discontinuator's going to be here any minute. PLOTZ Let's just hope he doesn't damage my studio-- or my toons. With Mickey out of the way, our profits could go through the roof! MIRANDA walks on shot. MIRANDA Captain, are you sure this is going to work? SKEWER Of course not. It's just our last ditch effort. Most likely it's going to fail. MIRANDA looks at SKEWER, puzzled. MIRANDA Do you care at all about officer morale? SKEWER I'm slowly going insane. I can feel it. What's a little honesty now? Where's Bonkers? MIRANDA He was really upset about Fawn Deer. He's in the Squad Car. A LOUD AIRPLANE NOISE can be heard. SKEWER looks up. SKEWER Oh, really? BONKERS has flown up to the WATER TOWER in a PROP AIRPLANE! He goes in the TOWER as THE DISCONTINUATOR approaches the TANKS! SKEWER Ready? FIRE! The TANKS FIRE! The explosions do NOTHING to THE DISCONTINUATOR! THE DISCONTINUATOR I don't have time for your games. My power is almost complete. Let me show you the future of cartoons! (in a RADIO announcer voice) And now, a FUTURE SHOCK! All the way from CYBERTRON 2006... Meet... GALVATRON! The DISCONTINUATOR reshapes himself to look like GALVATRON, but his color scheme remains constant. He TRANSFORMS into CANNON MODE and FIRES at the TANKS! SKEWER et al. get out of the way as the TANKS EXPLODE! One of them HITS the WATER TOWER! PAN UP to the WATER TOWER, which is starting to LEAN OVER! YAKKO Come on, sibs! WE have to get outta here! WAKKO What's going on? It feels like the disco era all over again! DOT Bonkers, you said that mean old nasty wasn't here yet! BONKERS So I miscalculated a little, ok? ZIP PAN to PLOTZ. PLOTZ Captain Skewer, you told me your officers could handle the situation! My Studio's being ruined! MIRANDA steps in. MIRANDA We'll get the situation under control- The WATER TOWER Falls! MIRANDA and the others are stuck under it, fenced in by some of the girders. PLOTZ It looks like the situation has US under control, officer! BONKERS, YAKKO, WAKKO and DOT begin hurling ANVILS, PIES. DESKS, WARSHIPS and STALE CHEESE at THE DISCONTINUATOR, but he just heads for TERMITE TERRACE, where he PLUCKS BUGS BUNNY and others from the bulding, GROWING with each TOUCH! WAKKO Ah know whut to do... I'll stop him... with water! BONKERS Water? WAKKO He's half robot! Ah'll bet he's not waterproof! Before BONKERS can protest, WAKKO gets in a tiny TOON PLANE and flies over 20 foot tall DISCONTINUATOR. He opens up a BUCKET and drops water on him. TIGHT ON BONKERS BONKERS (yelling) But he's only DRAWN that way! PULL BACK and FAVOR THE DISCONTINUATOR. THE DISCONTINUATOR is unaffected. He reaches up for the plane, and ZOTs WAKKO! The TOON plane crashes to the ground. THE DISCONTINUATOR grows another 10 FEET! THE DISCONTINUATOR That was good. You Warners have a lot of energy. I think I'll have a cute snack next. DOT is standing on a rooftop, playing the helpless damsel. She has an ICBM behind her back. DOT You wouldn't hurt someone as cute as me! THE DISCONTINUATOR Oh yes I would. Before DOT can react, THE DISCONTINUATOR grabs her! As she POPS out, we hear: DOT That's no way to treat a lady! BONKERS and YAKKO watch in horror as THE DISCONTINUATOR grows another 10 feet! THE DISCONTINUATOR I should assimilate you two, but I have enough power now. Now I will DESTROY those who have hurt us, ONCE AND FOR ALL! (in Fawn Deer's Voice) It'll work out just fine, Bonkers. Trust me. All slapstick toons will finally regain the respect we deserve. As THE DISCONTINUATOR walks off, BONKERS and YAKKO get the officers out from under the WATER TOWER. MIRANDA Bonkers, are you OK? BONKERS Miranda, I dunno how we're gonna stop this guy! He's big, and mean, and 40 feet high! YAKKO Hey, Bobcat! Snap out of it! I've got Wakko's GAG BAG! A toon light bulb pops in over BONKERS' head! BONKERS Does it have an ACME Super-Duper Deluxe Maildude? YAKKO Of course. YAKKO produces the GAG BAG and shakes it upside down. A BOWLING BALL, TOILET BOWL, SPACE SHUTTLE, SAFE, ANVIL, MONOLITH and MAILMAN pop out. BONKERS writes something on the mailman's pad. BONKERS Go! Get this here NOW! The MAILMAN runs OS. A second later, he comes back. There is now a giant bobcat foot taking up half the screen. BONKERS signs the mailman's pad and turns towards the foot. MIRANDA (VO) Not that thing again! CUT TO a view of BONKERS looking tiny in front of two HUGE BOBCAT FEET. PULL BACK to reveal the 40-foot BONKERS from "Tokyo Bonkers", overshadowing the devastated Warner Bros. Lot. PLOTZ What're they going to do with THAT? YAKKO Smash a Discontinuator, save some toons, grab a pizza and trash the rest of the Warner Lot. PLOTZ I was afraid he was going to say that. BONKERS and YAKKO climb into the GIANT BONKERS. CUT TO INT. GIANT BONKERS- it is hollow. BONKERS Forgot. This thing didn't presactly come with controls. YAKKO (pulls from GAG BAG) One instant control room, coming up! A POP! and the interior becomes a very cheesy Star Trek Bridge ripoff. CUT TO EXT. WARNER STUDIOS- Almost HIGH NOON. The GIANT BONKERS is walking off into the distance. CUT TO INT. HOLLYWOOD BOWL- HIGH NOON The DRAMATIC toons are battling THE DISCONTINUATOR. They are no match for him, and one by one, they are being knocked out. THE DISCONTINUATOR refuses to assimilate them- he just pins them under very heavy ANVILS. THE DISCONTINUATOR I can't get rid of you for good, but I can perpetually inconvenience you! You'll never get out from under my ANVILS of DOOM! WOLVERINE Anvils of Doom? You're outta it, buddy! (extends his claws just as a giant pie SPLATS him!) THE DISCONTINUATOR My slapstick too sticky for you? A Rumbling can be heard as the GIANT BONKERS climbs over the side of the Hollywood Bowl and faces off with THE DISCONTINUATOR. THE DISCONTINUATOR Ahh... Bonkers. You have decided to help me in my que- THE DISCONTINUATOR reels as "BONKERS" hurls a GIANT PIE at thim. BONKERS (from inside) You want slapstick? You got it!